SC - Generic, No-Frills SCA-Cooks' universal rant

[Philip & Susan Troy]

Unto the noble readers of this list, from Gideanus Tacitus Adamantius,
Greetings!

I've been noticing some rather disturbing trends developing on this
list, and it may be that getting them on the digest version provides for
a slightly different social dynamic. In any case, I will presume
mightily on the friendship and indulgence of the list readers with a
rant that probably lacks originality, but the time to say some of this
stuff again seems to have rolled around again. My apologies in advance
to all who feel this is old hat.

First of all, we probably should all take a deep breath and count to
ten, or a hundred, or whatever it takes, before responding angrily to a
post that we are absolutely sure was intended as a deliberate, personal
affront, and an insult we can't allow to pass. Type is a really hard
medium to express emotion in, and sometimes it's easy to misread a
person's emotional intent. If you really do feel insulted, or even just
bothered, by something someone else has said, the chances are extremely
slim that the offending party intended to offend. He or she is more
likely completely unaware of the problem. Surely that should buy a
little understanding and forbearance on the part of the offendee, who,
perceiving a slight of some kind, wants to fire a return shot as soon as
possible.

If I may be forgiven for offering a hard-earned platitude, I've found
that when someone says something to offend you, simply ask if the person
intended to be offensive, in as emotionless a tone as possible. "Was
that brick intended for me, or did your hand slip?" Even if the hand
didn't slip, and the brick landed right where it was aimed at, like in
your eye, frequently the thrower of the brick will have realized that it
was wrong to throw it. He or she will often apologize, satisfying honor
and saving precious time that would otherwise be devoted to arguing
about whose fault everything is. In any case, you are likely to receive
an apology from the courteous nobles on this list, either if the act or
statement was intentionally hostile, or if it wasn't. If the person had
every intent of being insulting (something I've never really run across
in thirteen years in the SCA), then you and that person can take it
outside, and I'll hold your coats.

Partially, but not entirely, related is the lack of patience for some of
our newer members who seem to be interested in rehashing old territory.
Remember there are many readers who weren't around for the discussion
on, say, cuskynoles (choosing a topic completely at random, y'unnerstan
;  )  ). Maybe a patient nudge in the direction of the Florilegium (and
Lord Stefan probably thinks we don't love him enough, but we do we do we
do appreciate him) would be more productive than the simple statement
that we already went over this. I know I've done this myself, and I
don't think I'm the only one, but we all have our moments of weakness.
We just need to work on this a bit, is all.

Oh, and one more thing, to be taken exactly for what it's worth, simply
my own pet peeve at the moment. It is not cool to completely ingore a
question someone has asked, and then respond only when someone else has
supplied an answer you disagree with. If you are such an authority on
Halal slaughtering techniques for the lesser crested bullfinch in
12th-century Persia, and you have the time to get involved in the first
place, for Heaven's sake answer the question. Don't pick nits off
someone else's response. Otherwise you come across as someone who would
rather criticize than supply information. There being relatively few
East Kingdom Laurels on this list, and as we all know, criticizing
rather than supplying useful information cheerfully is the exclusive
prerogative of the Laurels of the East, I respectfully submit that it is
inappropriate behavior.

There now. You see? I went and did it. If that didn't insult someone,
nothing will.

I wish to apologize for the crass remarks made in the previous paragraph
but one. It was rude and insensitive to insult East Kingdom Laurels in
the way I did. Please understand I was only trying to make a point, and
didn't intend to offend, and besides I've been under a  lot of stress
lately, what with my car being eaten by wolves, and that infestation of
Indian elephants in my attic. Oh, and did I mention the alien abduction?
I had him locked in the closet for three weeks... .

Thanks for listening. We now return control of your television set.

Adamantius
troy at asan.com
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