SC - Rice, Pasta, and walking on eggs...

[kat]

Noemi and Adamantius have already shared their excellent insights on this subject, but please allow me to add the following...

The psychological term for this woman's behavior is "passive-aggressive."  I know; I live with one.  <sigh>

It is very very difficult to deal with a person like this; because their one desire is to be the star of any situation.

The solution:  This will be VERY hard to do... but stop walking on eggshells around her.  If you are interested in needlework and "no one can do needlework around here without HER blessing because SHE'S the expert," then do it anyway.  And have your source information always at hand, and **don't** get caught without it.

Never get caught up in her hysteria; react to whatever extreme thing she does in a calm and rational manner.  Point out nicely, if you can, that she is taking things too seriously.  Keep in mind that your words will get twisted and thrown back in your face and you will get talked about behind your back---BUT you will have stood up to her, which lessens her power over you.

These people have no power besides what others give them.  And we all always fall for the trick:  Give her whatever she wants, just to keep her quiet.  Put her on the autocrat team so she won't make a stink in front of the king about our event... or try to sabotage it behind our backs.  Give her credit and thank her in court, or she'll get upset and we'll never hear the end of it.  Better make sure she gets X award before this other person does; she's been in longer and we'll all have to hear about it...   

It is very very very very very difficult not to fall into the trap.  (Ask me why I have had the same "housemate" off and on for eight years... through two marriages and four relocations.  Or on second thought, don't ask.)  

Email me privately if you wish, I'd be happy to share with you my horror stories and survival tips for dealing day-to-day with a passive-aggressive primadonna.  I've got 'em by the bushel...  <g>

Hugs,

	- k

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