SC - medieval food story

[Woeller D]

Anne-Marie Rousseau wrote:
 It's like medieval food Jeopardy!  
> --Anne-Marie

When I heard that phrase, I remembered this story told at a recent feast
I attended. Can't remember which event, don't know who the storyteller
was, I've changed details to suit myself, it's long, but it's funny(I
hope) and appropriate(I hope)to this list. Enjoy-

The cook for a great manor is so well renowned for his incredible and
well-done feasts that the King has come to visit, to sample the
wondrous  victuals the cook is expected to turn out. 

The day before the meal is to be served, the cook is out in the gardens
looking for the choicest of vegetables to grace the table with, he
happens upon a cluster of the most magnificent mushrooms he has ever
seen. Knowing that the one thing the king adores most is mushrooms, he
hastily fills his basket with them and returns to the kitchens, sending
back servants to return with armloads of beautiful mushrooms. The cook
is ecstatic, knowing that his lord will be well pleased in being able to
present the King his heart's desire. 

The one problem is that, as these mushrooms aren't familiar, the cook
must find a way to ensure that they aren't poisonous, but the cook is a
clever one, and decides upon a plan. He chops some of the mushrooms into
some minced meat, and feeds the meat and mushrooms to his old dog. All
night he watches the dog carefully for any signs of illness. Nothing.
The dog is fine.

The next day, the cook is feeling very lucky. He adds the mushrooms to
every dish, as well as making several dishes showcasing his find. Just
to be sure, he asks a scullery maid to check in on his dog from time to
time, and let him know how it is doing. The dog is fine and frisky,
better than ever. So the cook continues on his labours, until, finally,
all is  in readiness. The signal is given for the first dishes to be
presented. The cook watches from an alcove, as the king signals his
approval, and the dishes are served- each one presenting the treasured
mushrooms in ingenious ways.

As the cook watches, the king's taster tastes the dish, and then the
king himself prepares to dine. Just then, the scullery maid tugs on his
sleeve and says "Sir, your dog is dead...." The cook's entire existence
passes before his eyes- "I've poisoned the KING!" he thought. In that
instant, he makes his decision. He leaps headlong into the great hall,
heroically throwing himself into the midst of the kings table,
splattering food everywhere, and knocking the spoonful of mushrooms away
from the king's lips. The king is outraged, looking at him with sauce
dripping form his ryal finery, and demands an explanation.

Horrified at what he's done, but proud that he's saved the king, the
cook throws himself at the mercy of the king and his lord, and explains
that he has discovered that he mistakenly used poison mushrooms. He
knows he will be punished for this debacle, and for ruining the meal,
but not so strictly as had he killed the king. He will live and come
back to honor, in time; after all, good cooks are hard to come by.

As he is led down to the gaol, where he will remain until his punishment
is decided, he passes the little scullery maid who brought him the news
of his dog. He thanks her for letting him know of the animals demise, in
such a timely manner. She is upset, and puzzled, and asks him "Sir, why
did you attack the king?" To which he replies "Because my dog died". She
ponders this for a moment, then queries "Yes, sir. But don't you think
it would have been better to beat the cart driver that ran him over?"

Now THAT'S medieval food Jeopardy. ;D
Hugs & Pinches,
Angelique
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