SC - question about period wededings

[JEANNE STAPLETON]

> > > Damn all the SCA people who want period weddings.  I generally don't approve
> > of them>
> > 
> > Greetings All!
> > 	May I ask, Sianan, why you don't approve of period weddings?  Is it *just*
> > the work involved (admittedly a lot) or on a person/religious/solemn level?
> > Also, is the Barony/shire/parent group put to the expense of the wedding or do
> > the bride & groom kick in bucks?  It would seem an awful financial burden to
> > the group, don't you think?
> 
Can I answer this question too?  :-)

> Personally, I don't object to Scadians getting married in a period style.
> (assuming they actually research it).

Here, do you mean "in a period style at events" or "in a period style at
all"?  If it's a private wedding, not at an event, the couple in question
should be able to do whatever they like, research or not.

  I tend to have trouble with people
> who build events around a wedding.

So do I.  I have an equal amount of trouble with people who slide a
wedding into an event adn do something like try to make the wedding
feast "the" feast.  My disgruntlements are not those of money, however;
if I'm going to an event anyway, I'd be paying a site fee that weekend,
and I'm not one to grumble over something that makes people feel happy
if it's just a question of "my site fee is paying for their wedding
site".

What I do wonder at is the feeling that these people don't have any
more confidence in themselves or pride in their new relationship that
they evidently feel that no one will come to their wedding unless
they have it at an event.

I also think that a wedding is a separate occasion, a "real" rite of
passage, as opposed to any SCA rite of passage you'd care to name;
I'd no more think it was okay for a bunch of people to show up in
rented tuxedos and such for a knighting than I do for people to be
at a real wedding that's changing these people's lives (one would
hope) in garb.  I think that a wedding, if it is to be taken
seriously by all, should have whatever wedding attire the couple
requests and wants and have a completely separate venue from an event,
and a completely separate reception, etc.  Either that or elope and
throw a party later.  :-)  I thik also that SCA members get bound
into the notion that it's medieval or nothing, and why not do Victorian
or Edwardian or something like that?

  You tend to have the families looking
> confused and out of place. 

Or hostile.  One thing that should not happen is that relatives and
SCA friends are put into a situation where one is calling the others
f***ing hippies and the other set is getting flippant and annoyed because
they're invited guests like everyone else.  

I don't see confused and out of place as much as I've seen hostile and
judgmental, and nobody deserves to be put in that position, especially
not on a wedding day.

 All of the close friends (ie the people
> you would have invited to a normal wedding as guests) are doing all the
> work.

If they want to.  Some people prefer to do work for the wedding rather
than be expected to buy an expensive gift.

  And you wind up paying for the couple's wedding.   Not my idea of
> either a wedding ro an event that I would want to attend.  Unfortunaetly
> they are becoming rather commonin my area.
> 
The money part doesn't bother me, because generally the couple is still
buying food for the feast, liquor, flowers, etc.  You'd generally still
pay the site fee for the event anyway.  (I'm uncomfortable with money
grumbles in general, especially in the SCA.)  But it doesn't give the
focus and attention that either element deserves, the event *or* the
wedding.
  
> Most of the "medieval weddings" that I have seen have been aimed at the
> nobility.  What kind of wedding ceremonies and celebratory feasts would
> the lower classes have held?  
> Would they have held extravagnat (for peasants) day long  ceremonies or
> simple quick exchange of vows... (ok. now they're married.. back to work)
> 
Don't know!  I've heard of weddings that were done "inside the church
door" and cases where children were baptised as part of the ceremony,
because the couple had only been handfasted or betrothed earlier (be-
trothals were, at least for a time in England, as binding as marriages).

Berengaria


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