SC - Animal troubles- for Ras, in part, OT, OOP, humor

[Philippa Alderton]

This has all started from a combination of various Cooks talking about odd
human eating habits, and that idiot duck I'm dealing with out on this farm.
This is absolutely true, btw.

Now, the idiot duck was just a duckling this spring, and had a couple of
siblings which didn't make it. As soon as it got big enough, Mike and the
family started taking it up to the pond for the day, and it seemed to be
getting along fine, coming back in at night to sleep in its cage.

When Mike and his family left, the duck started hanging out at the house,
making messes all over, and generally being irritating, but I ignored it.
Its next step was to start not only stealing the cat food, but fighting the
kittens for it. I had been feeding it cracked corn, and of course it has an
entire pond and a good-sized stream to eat from, but it has developed a
preference for cat food.

I figured this was a bit odd, but didn't worry about it until last night.

Last night, my mother cat, who is teaching hunting at the moment, came in
with a mouse for her remaining kitten- I found homes for the other four-
and that da**ed duck not only stole the mouse from the kitten, but then
proceeded to eat the thing.

I know chickens are omnivorous and cannibalistic, but this is the first
time I've ever heard of this sort of behaviour in a duck. Does anybody have
a clue as to the cause of this behaviour?

I suppose I'll have to get the mother cat to teach the duck how to mouse
too, along with the kitten.

And, here's the story for Ras.

In 1993, sometime in December, a customer walks in with a
dead PowerBook 165. Fault description: hangs on startup.
An additional symptom provided was: whilst being carried
from the customer's site to our service center, a 'sloshing'
noise was heard within the machine. 

"Has anything been split on this computer?" I inquired,
but no, nothing of the sort had happened, protested the
client vehemently. Taking this with a grain of salt (no-one's
going to admit doing something that totally invalidates
their warranty and effectively wrecks their computer)
I went about filling in the repair order. 

Back on the bench, I started the PowerBook up. Sure
enough, an address error on startup, just after 'Welcome
to Macintosh'. I lowered my ear to the keyboard, 
at which point I heard a crackling noise (couldn't hear
any sloshing noise though) and became aware of a rather
'sharp' odor which seemed to emanate from the inside of
the machine. Flicking the computer off and unplugging the
adapter, I removed the battery from its compartment,
only to observe that the entire battery casing was soaked
in a fluid which appear to have a rainbow-like sheen (kind of
like what a puddle of soapy water would look like -- oily
and colorful). I also noticed that the same fluid was leaking
out of the battery compartment onto the static mat,
but appeared clear rather than multi-colored. My first
thoughts were that the battery had somehow leaked acid
out into the guts of the PowerBook, which would account for
the sharp smell (which reminded me of ammonia), yet the
battery terminals were about the one part of the battery that
was dry. No, upon closer examination, I ruled the acid
theory out. The battery was wet, but not leaking. 

Tipping the machine on its side, I watched more fluid run
out and coagulate on the bench in a puddle about the size
of a compact disc. It was definitely clear, and I observed
that the 'rainbow' effect had been caused by the reaction
of the plastic battery casing to this 'mystery liquid'. I then
unscrewed the computer and separated the two parts of the
PowerBook. The smell suddenly became a LOT stronger.
The hard disk looked like a solid lump of rust, and the
daughterboard appeared to have about three barbecued chips.
Although I was quickly forming my own opinions on
what had happened, I invited several of my workmates in
to take a sniff and offer an opinion. 

We were unanimous in our decision. I rang the customer,
who seemed surprised when I asked the question:
"Do you have a cat?"

As it turned out, he didn't have a cat, but he did have a lovely
fluffy bunny rabbit who was seen in the vicinity of the
PowerBook only the day before. Yes, there was no doubt about
it, little fluffy had hopped up onto the keyboard and downloaded
some incompatible data. I checked the warranty form, but there
was no provision for failure due to rabbit urine anywhere. 

I advised the customer to get in touch with his insurance company.
In the end, the PowerBook was biffed and the customer upgraded
to a 180c. I cleaned up the static mat and sprayed the service
department with a healthy dosage of "Fresh Field of Flowers."
I checked in with the customer about a week later, asked how was
he enjoying the 180c, asked if he'd managed to restore his data,
and, of course, asked how was his rabbit? 

"Delicious," he said.
 



Phlip
Caer Frig
Barony of the Middle Marches
Middle Kingdom

Southeastern Ohio

Phlip at bright.net

Never a horse that cain't be rode,
And never a rider that cain't be throwed.
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