SC - Long, Silly, and Tasteless! OP, not for the Squeamish, but for Ras, re Weird Foods

[Phil & Susan Troy]

>From "After The Funeral: The Posthumous Adventures of Famous Corpses" by Edwin
Murphy, ©1995 Edwin Murphy, Barnes and Noble Books:

Chapter 16
How a British Subject Served Louis XIV

Le Roi Soleil, Louis XIV, was king of France from 1643 until he died, on
September 1, 1715. During his long reign, he centralized almost all effective
power in his own hands, at the expense of the nobles and the parliament. He
also raised France and its monarchy to the pinnacle of prestige and glory. He
practically invented the concept of absolute monarchy, and thus he was
absolutely despised by the Jacobins of the French Revolution. Grave robbers
raided his tomb at St. Denis and stole his embalmed heart. An English
nobleman, Lord Harcourt, bought it. Later, he sold it to the dean of
Westminster Cathedral, the scientifically-minded Reverend William Buckland. It
passed by inheritance to his equally scientific but decidedly eccentric son,
Francis buckland. Frank, as everyone called him, was a likable if
unconventional scientist. His first love was fish, but all forms of anatomy
and other natural sciences fascinated him.

Among his many enthusiasms, Frank Buckland was a founder of the Society for
the Acclimatization of Animals in the united kingdom, an organization whose
goal was to increase the national food supply by importing and raising all
kinds of exotic animals. As the society routinely feasted on buffalo,
kangaroo, ostrich, and many other outlandish species, Buckland got into the
habit of regarding anything organic as a possible meal, and the more unusual
the better. He was known to have consumed delicacies ranging from sea slugs to
garden slugs, from bluebottle flies to earwigs, from moles to porpoise heads,
the gastronomic merits or demerits of which he reported in detail for the avid
readers of his several periodiocals, including 'Land and Water'.

When you dined at Frank Buckland's house, you could never be sure what might
turn up on your plate. Thus, it should come as no surprise what one startled
visitor reported about one of these repasts. Frank told him: 'I have eaten
many strange things in my lifetime, but never before have I eaten the heart of
a king.' Buckland then calmly proceeded to consume the contents of his plate,
which consisted of the heart of Louis XIV. He had withdrawn it from his
immense collection of curiosities and put it to practical use. His collection
also contained a lock of hair from Henry IV and the poet Ben Jonson's heel
bone. As far as we know, Frank Buckland did not eat those.

Louis XIV had reigned longer than any other European monarch. he probably
would have tried to hang on even longer had he known his heart was destined to
become the supper of an irrepressibly unorthodox English gourmet." 

Now, couldn't you just see this situation cropping up on the cooks' list?

List Subscriber A: "I'm considered by my friends to have weird and exotic
tastes; I eat cornflakes and once even tried chicken."

List Subscriber B: "That's nothing! I once ate the heart of Louis the XIV!"

List Subscriber C: "That's nothing, IMHO! I often serve the heart of Louis the
XIV at my feasts, and everyone in my shire not only has tried the heart of
Louis the XIV, but loves it and comes back for seconds!" 

List Subscriber D: "I can buy the heart of Louis the XIV at a fabulously
expensive local store (they probably carry it at Balducci's) but haven't yet
had occasion to serve it at an SCA feast."

List Subscriber E: "Ah, that's probably farmed kingheart, not the genyooine
wild article. Where I live, the proper season for a nice fresh heart of Louis
the XIV is July 14th. We prefer our Royal Appurtenances fresh, not frozen and
thawed. There's just no comparison in the flavor!"

List Subscriber F: "I think serving the heart of any late Ancien Regime
monarch at an SCA feast is a bad idea, as they tend to be post-1600, and
besides many people have serious allergies to embalmed king's hearts. Does
anyone have a recipe for a faux one made from gluten or tofu?"   

I could go on, but I think we've had quite enough of this silliness, don't
you? The list members above are, of course, archetypes, not specific people. 

Adamantius, hoping he hasn't upset anyone too seriously, and with apologies
for Getting Too Silly. Not to mention the incredibly tasteless subject
matter...   

- -- 
Phil & Susan Troy

troy at asan.com
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