SC - Fw: Fwd: Dave Barry on Re-enactors

[Christine A Seelye-King]

- --------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <dayleandken at ibm.net>

Subject: Fwd: Dave Barry on Re-enactors

March 7, 1999 BY DAVE BARRY Knight Ridder News Service

 >I WAS surprised to learn that there are people in Miami who
 >practice sword fighting. I never thought of Miami as a sword kind
 >of town. Down here, we like to brandish our weapons at other
 >motorists from inside our cars, which would be risky with a
 >sword:
 >
 >FIRST MOTORIST (honking): Watch where you're going!
 >
 >SECOND MOTORIST: Oh, YEAH? (He brandishes his sword.)
 >
 >FIRST MOTORIST (fleeing): Yikes!
 >
 >SECOND MOTORIST: I showed him! (To his children in the back
 >seat:) Kids, could you look on the floor and see if you can find
 >daddy's ear?
 >
 >But it turns out that Miami does have practising sword fighters.
 >They belong to the Renaissance Historical Society of Florida, a
 >group of people who wear costumes and pretend they're living
 >during the Renaissance. The Renaissance -- as you recall from not
 >spelling it correctly one single time in your entire academic
 >career -- was the historical period that started in the 15th
 >century at approximately 3:30 p.m. when humanity, after centuries
 >of being cooped up in the Dark Ages, finally stumbled out into
 >the light and got a whiff of its own armpits and said, "Whoa!
 >Time to invent cologne!" This was followed by tremendous
 >advances in science, philosophy, literature and paintings of
 >naked women.
 >
 >On a recent Sunday afternoon I watched members of the Renaissance
 >Historical Society rehearse for a public performance at an
 >upcoming Renaissance festival. They were leaping around, swinging
 >large, realistic swords at each other and yelling Renaissance
 >insults such as -- this is an actual insult they yelled -- "You
 >snotmuffin!"
 >
 >When they were done, I talked to two of the organisers, Roger
 >Zollo and Kyle Mathews, about the Renaissance movement, which
 >involves groups and festivals all over the country.
 >
 >"We try to be as period as possible," said Zollo.
 >
 >"Although we do bathe," noted Mathews.
 >
 >"Right," agreed Zollo. "We don't want to smell Renaissance."
 >
 >The re-enactors wear authentic costumes, which means the men wear
 >tights. (And before I hear any snickering from you guys out there
 >who think men look silly in tights, I have two words for you:
 >"golf pants.") The Renaissance men also wear codpieces, which
 >are pieces of cloth that cover up a man's, um, codpiece area.
 >Zollo and Mathews told me that some guys make their own codpieces
 >and personalise them: One guy made a fuzzy red codpiece that
 >squeaked if you squeezed it. (My feeling about that is, if you
 >have a squeaking codpiece, you had better have a really big
 >sword.)
 >
 >THE RENAISSANCE people also spend a lot of time learning
 >authentic sword-fighting techniques. I have an interest in this
 >topic dating to 1964, when my friend Lanny Watts talked me into
 >joining the Pleasantville High School fencing club. This was a
 >serious competitive club, but Lanny and I frankly did not have
 >the correct attitude, a fact that became clear when it came time
 >to form into pairs and practice a basic fencing technique. Lanny
 >was paired against one of the veteran club members, who had
 >assumed his fighting stance, holding his fencing sword in the
 >ready position; suddenly Lanny ran from the room, only to return
 >a moment later holding: a trombone. Even though I was lying on
 >the floor and trying not to wet my pants, I still have a vivid
 >motion picture in my mind of the scene that followed: Lanny
 >charging forward, blowing into the trombone and thrusting boldly
 >with the sliding part, as his opponent retreated in confusion and
 >-- yes -- fear. Lanny and I were immediately kicked out of the
 >fencing club. But I think they knew who won.
 >
 >Anyway, my main question about sword-fighting technique is this:
 >How come, when you see a sword fight in the movies, where two
 >guys are doing everything they can to kill each other, and one of
 >them finally gets the upper hand and has his sword point pressed
 >against his enemy's neck, instead of killing him -- which he has
 >been trying hard to do for 10 minutes -- HE MAKES A SPEECH,
 >usually involving the word "varlet"? Because while he's
 >yakking, the other guy ALWAYS gets away.
 >
 >I asked Zollo and Mathews why movie sword fighters did this, and
 >they answered, "Theatrics." They also said they rarely kill
 >people in their performances.
 >
 >"We try to show respect for life," said Mathews.
 >
 >"Plus," said Zollo, "it's a pain in the butt to carry the
 >bodies away."
 >
 >Thus we see that the Renaissance movement represents positive
 >historic values. This is heartening because many of its members,
 >at least in the group I saw, are young people. So the next time
 >you find yourself thinking that today's youth are nothing but
 >mindless, giant-pant-wearing, tattoo-getting, MTV-clone
 >snotmuffins whose definition of "ancient" is "before Ginger
 >left the Spice Girls," remember that there ARE young people who
 >are interested in preserving, and promoting, a vital part of
 >humanity's cultural heritage. And while you're remembering that,
 >bear in mind that "Varlet and the Squeaking Codpieces" would be
 >an excellent name for a rock band. >>



________________________________________________________________
Get secure free e-mail that you don't need Web access to use
from Juno, the world's second largest online service.
Download your free software at http://www.juno.com/getit.b.html.
============================================================================

To be removed from the SCA-Cooks mailing list, please send a message to
Majordomo at Ansteorra.ORG with the message body of "unsubscribe SCA-Cooks".

============================================================================