SC - Honey Nut Crunch

[Philip & Susan Troy]

My apologies to all; I'm about to patronize Phlip. Don't say I didn't
warn ya. Those with weak stomachs can hit the delete key now, but any
resemblance between the following and actual animosity is purely coincidental.

"Alderton, Philippa" wrote:
> 
> Adamantius sez:
> 
> >Hmmmm. Nuts technically aren't fruit; how to distinguish them from other
> seeds? The fleshy seed of a tree, enclosed in a woody shell?
> 
> Actually, they ARE fruit, they're the interior of a fleshy fruiting body,
> where, in this case, the interior of the seeds is eaten, rather than the
> flesh of the fruit as in apples or peaches. And many people eat the inside
> of apricot or peach seeds, despite the cyanide within them.

Now, Phlip, I'll expain something to you. You see, when a mommy tree and
a daddy tree love each other very much, They have certain...urges. With
help from some friendly bees, they produce fruit. We call this
RE-PRO-DUCT-ION. Inside the fruit are seeds. They grow into little trees
just like the mommy tree and the daddy tree.

The seeds are different from those of most fruit in that they are dry
and hard, not sweet and juicy like Del Monte fruit cocktail with the
little embalmed cherry halves. Yum!

BOT-AN-ISTS, the science gentlemen who spend lots and lots of time
thinking really hard about plants, speak a different language from
ENG-LISH, the language of the nice men in horned helmets and fur
loincloths who drove the friendly BRIT-ISH into WAL-ES. I mean Wales.
BOT-AN-ISTS speak a language known as TECH-NIC-AL JAR-GON.

Yes, Phlip is right: nuts are one-seeded fruits with a tough, dry fruit
layer rather than a fleshy, succulent one. Under this definition only
acorns, hazelnuts, beechnuts, and sweet chestnuts --all members of one
order of trees, the Fagales-- qualify as nuts among those that we
commonly eat. Almonds and walnuts actually correspond to the stones of
the peach or plum, and are surrounded by a fleshy layer while on the
tree. The otherwise very different Brazil and pine nuts are both seeds,
the first enclosed by the dozen in a woody pod, and the second borne
without a covering (Gymnosperm, the class of plants that includes the
pines, means "naked seed") on the pine cone.  [Definition courtesy of
Harold McGee]
   
I would have thought, Phlip, that you'd be a little more shy about
splitting hares after your experiences in Abhainn Ciach Ghlais a while
back ;  ) . 

> Shall I send you some fresh walnuts or hickory nuts, just off the tree, oh
> UUY?

Nah, not necessary, ma'am. Besides, those aren't nuts! Just seeds. And
I'd be at a loss to think what to do with them after executing my plans
for you and that cattail you sent me. It will be a tough act to follow.
It's a good thing we've been formally introduced!

All this from a discussion on how to make your nuts stick together!

Adamantius, now hoping we will return to the more sophisticated levels
of tact and courtesy normally found on the Cooks' List, a veritable
Feast of Reason and Flow of Soul, as the poet says.
- -- 
Phil & Susan Troy

troy at asan.com
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