SC - Humor-OOP

[LrdRas at aol.com]

I recieved this on one of my other cooking list. If it has been posted here
before...laugh a second time. :-)

Ras
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HOW TO TELL WHEN FOOD IS SPOILED

EGGS When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg
is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled
when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled
when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing
but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is
already.  Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese
but you realize you've never purchased that kind.

BREAD
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable
"spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good
indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical
laboratory experiment.

FLOUR
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball
should be disposed of. Carefully.

CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

RAISINS
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy
undergrowth.

CHIP DIP
If you  can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor,
it has gone bad.

UNMARKED ITEMS:
You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard
the Tupperware along with the food.  Generally speaking, Tupperware
containers should not burp when you open them.
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