SC - Another Martha Stewart funny...
Micaylah
dy018 at freenet.carleton.ca
Fri Jan 29 17:43:58 PST 1999
I know, I know, I just couldn't resist...
Micaylah
***********************************************************
Top 10 Signs You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart:
10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine
with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and
precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.
9. You find a lemon slice in the dog's water bowl.
8. On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like
your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the
half-open graham cracker garage door.
7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose
petal & saffron demi-glace', with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a
delicate mint-fennel sauce.
6. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave
the bathroom.
5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into
a swan.
4. No matter "where" you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster
fork.
3. Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying.
2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in
every orifice.
1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.
***********************************************************
If quitters never win, and winners never quit,
what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
***********************************************************
============================================================================
To be removed from the SCA-Cooks mailing list, please send a message to
Majordomo at Ansteorra.ORG with the message body of "unsubscribe SCA-Cooks".
============================================================================
More information about the Sca-cooks
mailing list