SC - Another Martha Stewart funny...

[Micaylah]

I know, I know, I just couldn't resist...

Micaylah

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Top 10 Signs You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart:

10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine
with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and
precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.

9.  You find a lemon slice in the dog's water bowl.

8.  On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like
your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the
half-open graham cracker garage door.

7.  You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose
petal & saffron demi-glace', with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a
delicate mint-fennel sauce.

6.  The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave
the bathroom.

5.  You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into
a swan.

4.  No matter "where" you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster
fork.

3.  Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying.

2.  You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in
every orifice.

1.  You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.


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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, 
what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

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