SC - FWD:[Mid] "If Bill Gates were in the SCA..."

[Jen Conrad]

Found this on the Middlebridge and found it too funny not to share with all.

Luveday
Coqueo ergo sum ( I cook, therefore I am )

Subject: [MidSubject: [Mid] "If Bill Gates were in the SCA..."

Lately on the #SCA chat channels we were discussing everybody's favourite
mundane mega-mogul, William H. Gates, of Microsoft fame.  Some of the
comments (the printable ones....) are excerpted below.  Please feel free to
add to this, and pass it around to those of good humour.  (And make sure I
get a copy back!! :-> )

Member: "I paid for a feast ticket, and now I find that there's no feast."
Gatekeeper Gates:  "Feast will be in the next upgrade.  At that time, feel
free to turn in your ticket, plus a $25 incident fee, and then you will get
to eat."

At feast:

Member:  "Hey, the menu said Great Pye!  This is hamburger casserole,
without any onions even!"
Cook Gates:  "Great Pye was a demo.  It's in beta right now.  It should be
out in the next release."

Member:  "Why aren't there any chars?"
Event Steward Gates:  "You ordered Feast V.1.  That comes with Table V.1,
but Chair V.1 is a separate upgrade.  There is also a Plus! Pack with
SeatCushion V2.3B included for a slightly higher fee.  Also, drinks and
condiments are proprietary plug-ins, you must purchase Mug V.2 or Goblet V.2
or higher.  You do not need to get the items here, you may download them
from www.Microsoft.Feast.Com."

"We apologize for any inconvenience, but feast will not be served tonight,
but is expected to ship in the 3rd quarter of next year.  Instead, we have
leftovers from last year's feast, and you will each receive a coupon good
for a discount on Feast XXXIX, when it is out of testing."

Salmonella would be an undocumented feature.

On folks that bring their own foods to an event:

"My lawyers will be contacting you regarding your use of that particular
recipe, since it is a proprietary dish and may not be cooked outside of an
authorized Microsoft-Approved kitchen."

Eoin Caimbeul
From:  Wes Will <wwill at siu.edu>



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