Subject: SC - [Fwd: [Shire X] Oh, My, so This is what they eat in CAID . . . .]

[Philip & Susan Troy]

> Date: Fri, 28 Apr 2000 12:34:09 -0700
> From: "Laura C. Minnick" <lcm at efn.org>
> Subject: SC - [Fwd: [Shire X] Oh, My, so This is what they eat in CAID . . . .]
> 
> >4. Musk Life Savers (Nestle Confectionery): You may think musk is a scent,
> >but over in Australia, they think it's a candy flavor. A candy flavor that
> >tastes disturbingly like raw meat,to be precise. But what did you expect
> >from a country where everyone happily consumes Vegemite?

I dunno. Lots of period European recipes for sweet foods contain musk.
As for modern usage, it can go on the shelf next to my boxes of mastic
or cardamom flavored Chiclets from Lebanon. 

> >3. Blind Robins Smoked Ocean Herring (recently discontinued by Bar Food
> >Products): Possibly the world's most bizarre prepackaged tavern
> >snack. Interestingly, the product's titular robin isn't actually blind,
> >he's blindfolded -- the better, presumably, to avoid looking at these
> >heavily salted herring strips, which look like giant slugs.

So this is worse than a SLIM JIM????

> >2. Kylmaenen Reindeer Pate` (Kylmaenen Oy): This Finnish canned good may
> >not be particulary tasty, but at least it answers the age-old question of
> >why Rudolph was so eager for that safe, steady job on Santa's sleigh team
> >- -- he didn't want to end up a cracker spread.

Reminds me of Alexiei Sayle's routine spoofing Jules Verne's "The
Mysterious Island", which featured the Giant Tin of Crab Pate That Time
Forgot... 

> >1. Tengu Clam Jerky (Tengu Co.): Nothing you've ever consumed can prepare
> >you for the horror that is clam jerky. Still, this product does score a
> >sort of conceptual coup: If you're the sort who's always found raw clams
> >too slimy and gelatinous for your taste, these dried, shriveled mollusks
> >will help you dislike clams on a whole new level.

Okay, all kidding aside, I think I'm pretty well known on this list for
holding the culinarily xenophobic in a fair amount of conte...scor...
um, I find it unfortunate. However, I do respect people's rights to have
opinions no matter how moronic they may be ;  ) . But this... even if
you do hate clams, I really have to wonder if the author of the above
blurb has ever eaten A) the product described, and B) a clam. Slimy and
gelatinous? Just to make sure I hadn't forgotten what those words mean
in English, I went and looked them both up in the dictionary. I then
thought about the clams I've eaten in my time. Rubbery, sometimes, if
improperly cooked. Rather powerfully flavored or ocean minerals,
sometimes, when really large and mature. But slimy and gelatinous? Oh, I
remember now. Those words describe clams that have become _putrescent_!
On the other hand, the word "poisonous" also would describe a nice
helping of rotten clams. I'm surprised that word didn't end up in the blurb.

Besides, this is no worse than cuttlefish jerky or the sweet
chili-flavored pork jerky I'll occasionally buy. And what else are you
supposed to eat while watching bad kung-fu movies in Cantonese??? Some
people just have no cultchah!
  
Adamantius
- -- 
Phil & Susan Troy

troy at asan.com