SC - Feast humor

[Brian L. Rygg or Laura Barbee-Rygg]

Just got this on the SCA-Humor list; thought it might be appreciated here.
(Even if in one Kingdom a couple of them seem horribly likely. . . .)

Brendan Pilgrim
(so don't blame Raoghnailt)

_____________________________

Top 16 Signs That the Feast is Going to be Bad


16> High table went offboard.

15> Feast-o-crat was seen dismantling the kitchen's smoke alarm.

14> The Pizza guy shows up with a delivery for "His Majesty."

13> Rats can be seen fleeing the kitchen.

12> "Well, the oven had a 'clean' setting, so......"

11> The kitchen staff brown-bags it; the Feast-o-crat is going
       outboard.

10> Hazmat reports for clean-up.

9> "I don't know what you're complaining about; Botulism is period."

8> The second remove is a barf bag.

7> The site was picked because it had a handy vomitorium.

6> Offboard menu: Wonderbread and Pam.

5> "Meat on Trenchers" turns out to be "Spam on Triscuits."

4> First remove looks suspiciously like the last remove from the previous
     event.

3> Nautical theme is enhanced by the addition of Zebra Mussels.

2> Subtlety goes "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz."


and the Number 1 Sign That the Feast is Going to be Bad


1> The SPCA truck is seen at the kitchen door.