SC - Church Announcements (OT but funny)

[Elaine Koogler]

Gee, that sounds like some of our Pelican meetings!

Kiri

Philip & Susan Troy wrote:

> Hullo, the List!
>
> Sign posted on the wall of the high school site for a recent East
> Kingdom University:
>
> "Peer confrontaton group meeting today! Attendance _will_ be taken!"
>
> Still not sure who put that one up...
>
> Adamantius
>
> BalthazarBlack at aol.com wrote:
> >
> > List,
> >
> > I know it's way off topic and possibly out of period, but I know some of you
> > will get a chuckle out of this, so I'm passing it along...
> >
> > Bal
> >
> > Actual Announcements Taken from Church Bulletins
> >
> >           Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
> >
> >           Thursday night--potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
> >
> >           Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
> > community.
> >
> >           For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
> > nursery downstairs.
> >
> >           Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies
> > giving milk will please come early.
> >
> >           Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will
> > sing "Put Me In My Little Bed"
> >           accompanied by the pastor.
> >
> >           Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
> > Club. All wishing to become Little
> >           Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
> >
> >           This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward
> > and lay an egg on the alter.
> >
> >           The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the
> > ladies will start (quietly) and the rest
> >           of the congregation will join in.
> >
> >           The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and
> > they may be seen in the church
> >           basement Friday.
> >
> >           A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
> > Music will follow.
> >
> >           At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is
> > Hell?" Come early and listen to our
> >           choir practice.
> >
> >           Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian
> > Church. Please use large double door at
> >           the side entrance.
> >
> >           The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
> > slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My
> >           Pledge--Up Yours."
> >
> >           This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends
> > of the church. Children will be
> >           baptized at both ends.
> >
> >           On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the
> > expenses of the new carpet. All those
> >           wishing to do something on the new carpet, please come forward and
> > get a piece of paper at the end of
> >           the service.
> >
> >           We need volunteers for summer camp. There will be sinning and
> > dancing.
> >
> >           The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
> > David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev.
> >           and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
> >
> >           The Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
> >
> >           Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
> >
> >           Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
> > several new members and to the
> >           deterioration of some older ones.
> >
> >           Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
> >
> >           The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
> > sinning to join the choir.
> >
> >           Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing
> > for the girth of their first child.
> >
> >           Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
> > recycled. Proceeds will be used to
> >           cripple children.
> > ============================================================================
> >
> > To be removed from the SCA-Cooks mailing list, please send a message to
> > Majordomo at Ansteorra.ORG with the message body of "unsubscribe SCA-Cooks".
> >
> > ============================================================================
>
> --
> Phil & Susan Troy
>
> troy at asan.com
> ============================================================================
>
> To be removed from the SCA-Cooks mailing list, please send a message to
> Majordomo at Ansteorra.ORG with the message body of "unsubscribe SCA-Cooks".
>
> ============================================================================