[Trimaris] Re: SC - Highnesses, Lownesses, and Period Cooking.

[Sweetsheep at aol.com]

In a message dated 3/1/00 12:27:15 AM Eastern Standard Time, 
phlip at morganco.net writes:


Unto the most Honourable and Gracious Philip,

Do I, Maistress Dulcia MacPherson of the Kingdom of Trimaris, personally send 
appology for the insults and intolerance that you, and the other participants 
on the various lists to which this rediculousness has spread, have 
experienced.  I am taking the liberty of writing to you directly because I do 
not know how else to be sure that you might read this.  

Our Kingdom, like all others, has its fair share of good Royals and bad, good 
Peers and bad, and both good and bad people.  We also, like every other 
kingdom I have ever lived in or visited, have many who are basically good 
people, but may be inexperienced, poorly indoctrinated, overly sensitive, 
poor public speaker/writers, etc.  We also, like everyone in the SCA, tend to 
be very emotional and to react emotionally to issues that are important to 
us.  I honestly believe that you have, perhaps, been given a taste of 
Trimaris' worst, but I also believe that no one ever intended it to happen.  
Let me explain a little further if I may - 

Our Princess has been a laurel for many years, and is also already a Duchess. 
 Like many peers of her standing, she carries her past with her into her new 
reign.  This is not meant to be a criticism of her, only a statement of fact. 
 People in the SCA have long memories, especially where peers and royals are 
concerned.  The fact that she has already sat the throne twice, as well as 
being a laurel, puts her into the automatic position of having more people 
know her, and know about her, before she has even been crowned.  This, I 
think you will agree, is true of every well known person who has ever 
ascended the throne in any kingdom - many people have already decided, even 
before that coronation, whether they will love or hate this new monarch.  It 
is not fair, but it is the way human beings behave.  In the years that I have 
known Her Highness she has always had a certain degree of difficulty in 
expressing herself clearly and succinctly.  This, coupled with the above 
mentioned preconceived opinions about her, may have led some people in 
Trimaris to automatically assume the worst without stopping to think things 
through.  By immediately posting Her Highness' letter to the cooking list, 
the Trimarin(s?) passed on this gut reaction to all of you - after all, 
posting such a thing is obviously a plea for help, isn't it?  We are all 
conditioned to automatically react in such ways to defend our Society and our 
personal interests.  I place no blame on any member of your list, especially 
since, as you pointed out, you were discussing the letter and its possible 
implications and effects PRIVATELY.  

It seems fairly clear to me, that the actions of the person who posted Her 
Highness' letter to your list, and then forwarded all of the postings from 
your list to ours,  were of the panic/gut reaction variety.  It is possible 
that this gentle has had unpleasant dealings with Her Highness in the past 
that contributed to the present situation.  It is also possible that the 
gentle simply over-reacted to a percieved, though probably misinterpretted, 
threat to the art that he/she holds very dear to his/her heart.  At this 
point, it is unlikely that the truth at the base of this will ever be known 
to anyone but the gentle in question.  

This unfortunate situation was then exacerbated by Her Highness' retainers, 
who felt that the issue, for them, was not about period food but about 
defending their Princess.  I can only assume that they must have felt 
attacked, betrayed, and bewildered by this entire proceeding.  Her Highness 
has a group of retainers who are not only VERY new to the SCA, but  have not 
had much experience outside of Their Highnesses household and extended 
household.  I beleive that they simply did not know how to handle such a 
situation, and so did what they each thought was right, according to their 
natures.  While I do not entirely agree with what has been done or said, I 
cannot argue with the appropriateness of Her Highness' retainers attempting 
to act in her defense. 


>  
>  Funny. Part of our Dream is to strive for greater authenticity and to teach
>  and to learn about our Arts and our Sciences in the Middle Ages, while
>  conducting ourselves as politely as possible, in a World where misguided
>  Peers of the Arts are doing their very best to sabotage everything we're
>  striving for. 

I do not, will not, deny the validity of your understanding of Her Highness' 
letter - This is what the letter meant to you.  Your thoughts and feelings, 
and your right to form and hold them, is a basic human right and tenet.  All 
too often, people in the SCA, when they feel passionately about something, 
forget that their personal viewpoint is NOT the only valid viewpoint in the 
world.  To deny the validity of someone else's thoughts or feelings is, in 
fact, denying their right to exist as an independent entity.  This kind of 
attitude is what usually brings us into such flame wars in the first place - 
how can someone who feels they are being denied such basic principals of life 
not become angry and attempt to defend themselves? 

What I will say, is that I disagree with your interpretation of Her Highness' 
letter.  I do not believe that she intended it to be insulting to anyone - I 
beleive that it was, perhaps, not written as well is it might have been, and 
that her message got lost in the  process of people taking offense to 
individual lines.  We have had royals in the past, and I have personally 
witnessed this in other kingdoms as well, who either only put in a token 
appearance at feast, or who bring in their own food to eat.  Sometimes it has 
been a matter of dietary necessity, sometimes a matter of preference.  I 
believe that Her Highness was only trying to ensure that during the course of 
their reign They would be able to eat, and eat well.  I have some dietary 
allergies, and have found myself going hungry at a feast simply because I 
could not eat what was served.  Afterwards I have needed to either leave 
site, or otherwise obtain something to eat.  I can only imagine that such a 
situation is compounded to the point of being a nightmare when one is the 
reigning monarch and perhaps cannot leave, and the post feast eating must be 
done quietly and privately in order to avoid insulting or offending anyone. 

>Instead, we're finding ourselves in a pointless argument with
>  clueless people, who, in order to to distract arguments from their main
>  focus, throw around words like "dishonorable" and "challenge", as 
gratuitous
>  insults.

Perhaps their main focuss is not the same as yours?  It seems to me, in 
reading these postings, that while your focuss is on the benefits of period 
feasts, thiers is on defending the honor of their Princess.  If neither side 
can concede that the other's is also a valid focus, then this argument may 
end in blows yet.  Please consider - if someone (female?) very close and dear 
to you made an offhand remark about someone or something at an event, and the 
remark was overheard, misunderstood, and then openly challenged without much 
pretense at respect for the lady, would you be more inclined to debate the 
interpretation of the misunderstood remark or stand up for the lady's honor, 
and debate interpretations later?  I would like to believe that if I felt I 
was being attacked, my husband and all of my gentleman friends would defend 
me from that attack first. 

>  
>  Considering how many gratuitous insults have been offered, both to me,
>  personally, and to those of us who are striving for our Dream, by Trimarans
>  publicly and privately,

I am truly sorry that anyone was insulted, either publicly or privately, by 
anyone from Trimaris.  I personally offer you, and anyone else who has been 
offended by any Trimarin, my opology.  I will do whatever I can to make 
ammends to you, and to anyone else who has suffered unjustly.  All of this 
started because of a letter sent to the people of Trimaris by Her Highness.  
It should never have been spread around the Known World, and it is most 
unfortunate that it was has been so misunderstood.  I would never presume to 
speak for Her Highness, but as  Peer of Her Realm I feel personally obligated 
to make whatever restitution I can.  Please, allow me to make things right.  

 >I'm really wondering what your Peers are elevated
>  for- it certainly isn't tact or courtesy, at least from the Peers and
>  non-Peers I've been exposed to during this idiocy.

Once again, I think that you have been exposed to the worst of not only 
Trimaris, but of the SCA in general.  Trimaris, and every kingdom in the 
Known World, has both good and bad peers and people.  What we all have more 
of is people who don't think things through, and who respond, especially via 
email, with thier initial gut reaction to things.  Even the most patient, 
kind, courteous person in the world will come across to strangers as a rude, 
uncouth, tactless oaf at the moment he/she is caught reacting instead of 
thinking.  Your own words are not always the kindest or most courteous.  
Personally, I would be inclined to take the above quoted paragraph as a 
direct insult to myself and to every one of Trimaris' peers, without 
exception.  I realize, however, that you are writing in anger and I am quite 
sure do not really mean that paragraph to be read the way it sounds.  



Once again, I apologize to you, and to anyone else who felt that they were 
insulted.  I assure you that no real ill will was ever intended by anyone in 
Trimaris - we, of the SCA, are emotional people and sometimes our emotions 
rule our heads.  I cannot help but believe that all of this rediculousness 
was but the result of a lot of people reacting emotionally to what they 
percieved as an important issue.  Please do not allow this interaction to 
provide your only opinion of Trimaris and its people.

Yours in Service,

Dulcia MacPherson, OL
Barony of Wyvernwood, Trimaris

"Usus libri, non lectio prudentes facit."