SC - Worms, eh?

[Siegfried Heydrich]

    I've got this feast I've been wanting to do for years. It's based on the
notion of what you would serve at a feast if you were under siege and slowly
starving to death. It's all good food, just prepared in such a manner that
Only The Hungry Shall Eat! Remember, the worth of a cook is the ability to
make do with what you have on hand, heh, heh.
    Of course, this could only be served at a fighters collegium, as the
Laurels and other hoity-toity types would immediately yak all over their
lace ruffs. It would be a great opportunity to see just how tough these
stick jocks really are, anyway! And I might add that the shtick potential
here is truly awesome. Why, just the power chundering contest alone would go
down in the history books . . . we judge for volume, range, and color!

    Sieggy

            Siege of Antioch Memorial Dinner
                                    or
                Hungry are the Damned

        FIRST COURSE
    Moldy Bread
Homemade bread, colored & endored in moldy colors.
    Ox Grease
Whipped butter with rinsed cooked tapioca pearls and egg drop streamers
mixed in for texture.
    Lumpy Shit
Garbanzo, garlic, & olive oil spread chopped coarsely, piped into bowls. Use
a little corn for texture as well . .  . serve with a plastic fly on top.
    Leather Chunks
Homemade jerky, cut unto straps, holes punched with buckles added before
drying

        SECOND COURSE
    Mouse Soup
Clear broth soup with mouse shaped meat dumplings. with a chunk of water
chestnut inside each dumpling <crunch!>.
    Pond Scum Salad
Lime Jell-O, cool whip, and fruit salad with spinach added.

        INTERLUDE
    Candied Cockroaches
Glazed walnuts, pecans, and almonds.
    Crunchy Frog
Use a lily pad shaped cookie cutter to make cookies for the base, and use a
bit of icing to secure a gummi tree frog to it (upscale confectionary shops
sell them)

        THIRD COURSE
    Ribs of War Horse
Beef short ribs in a burgundy sauce.
    Breast of Nun
Take turkey breast halves, peel back the skin, place a spiced apple ring and
a maraschino cherry on top, stretch the skin back over and secure. Glaze and
roast.
    Haunch of Beldame
Smoked pork butt.

        SIDE DISHES
    Mess o' Greens in Pus
Greens (what have you) and a lemon cream sauce
    Stewed Parchment & White Stuff (don't ask)
Wonton leaves, written on in waterproof ink, and sauce blanc
    Steamed Rat Droppings
Fresh made couscous

        DESSERT
    Fried Entrails
Make strings of dried fruit, roll in flour, dip in batter, fry.
    Lice Pudding
Rice pudding made with white/brown rice mixture and currants.

        DRINK
    Recycled Rain Water
Lemonade
    Quench Water from the Smithy
Herbal tea