SC - Addressing things publicly (Re: Re: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!! was Re: privte....)

[grizly at mindspring.com]

> Sorry, I *HATE* this thread, but I feel that THIS needs some >words.  No it did NOT need to be aired publicly.  I do not feel that >you needed to cause people to lose face.  To do so is a serious lack >of chivalry in itself.<<<SNIP>>>  No need to cause people to
> lose face, no excuse for it either.

> -Katerine (who fully expects to be flamed for this, but feels deeply about deplorable acts)

>>I believe the fact that people from across the whole Knowne Worlde are on this list is sometimes overlooked in the heat of exchanges between those who know each other by sight as well as word.<<<

I would like to add agreement on the point of making discussion respectful and productive.  I am not sure the broad term chivalry is what I would use, but integrity and courtesy and gentleness.

I do,however disagree with never making people lose face.  My philosophy is preserve dignity and pride as long as possible.  However, in a volunteer organization (and most others for that matter) a strong motivator can be the possibility of being embarrassed for not following through on commitments or doing very poor acts towards others.  I believe we should start by making every effort to preserve the person's dignity, and leave it at that if it is sufficient.  Should poor attitude or acts continue in the face of reasonable efforts, one should take whatever action is necessary to preserve the 'greater good' (yeah, I know...who gets to decide that).  Even those who have their fighter cards revoked, or receive banishment have their names published in newletters.  Still preserve as much dignity as possible, but do not avoid confrantation when needed....private then public.

I also find that this list has an invaluable intangible benefit in its disputes.  We get to watch and learn from how others manage their diagreements in this somewhat public forum.  We may run some people off when it gets heated, but when men and women of repute resolve a disagreement, we get to see that they are human and sometimes have great arguments only to walk away friends and colleagues when it is over.  Some virtual blood may be shed, but it gives us a vicarious growth experience many will never get in their home groups.  Keep it civil, but don't take them all private either.

niccolo difrancesco