SC -Siggy dated was The top 10 icks list

[Decker, Margaret]

Midrealm Coronation Feast is now over. I'll probably post a few things
about how it all went, but now that I'm able to move from my comatose
state, I thought I'd share with you all (and those of you who helped)
a little bit about this nifty joke we played on His now-Majesty Dag.

About a week before the feast, Her Majesty, then Highness, sent me
e-mail asking me if I wanted to play an eensy little joke on the king.
Leaping before I looked, determined to "serve where serve I might"
I immediately responded with an affirmative and therein began a
fine joke.

Her Majesty sent me a list of every single thing she could think of that
was offensive or not liked by His Majesty in terms of food. Organ
meats topped the list, but it also included jellied dishes and asparagus.
Her Majesty and I managed to use this information to come up with a
menu that only His Majesty would see, with hopes that he would think
it was what he would actually have to eat.

Of course I let my staff in on the secret. And a few of you on the list
knew about it because we privately asked for advice. We came up
with a list of actual period recipes and interspersed them with
the dishes we would really serve in the feast. The King was already
aware that we had obtained a live veal calf for butchering. And
unbeknownst to me, he'd actually asked two of the people on his
staff (who were conveniently on *my* staff for the cooking) what
they thought of the dishes. Their answer? "I think you'll find the
feast rather interesting, Sir."

Let me just cut to the chase and let you know that he fell for it.
In fact I'd bet that it would be more than safe to say that he fell
hook, line, and sinker. We designed the menus to look exactly
the same so that a glance at the real menu wouldn't necessarily
ruin the surprise. The fake menu was posted in Their Majesty's
Royalty Room and placed on Their plates in the feast hall.

As it got closer and closer to the time for food to go out, His
Majesty got more and more nervous and began questioning not
only His Queen but also the other Royalty at the table with Him.
Having real menus in front of them allowed them to express
genuine surprise at his reticence and nervousness over the meal.
They all thought it looked wonderful. He obviously did not.

About the time the third course was coming out, he realized that
he'd been had in a most Royal way. He was kind enough to share
the joke with the entire hall, many of whom found the joke quite
amusing. Here is the menu we came up with that he read out to
the hall:

    Introductory Course
    Panis (Bread) et caseo (cheeses)
    Esicium ex Iecore (liver paté)
    Cibarium ex Intestinis (herbed deer intestines*)
    Rehaut galentine (jellied venison hide*)

    FIrst Course
    De Asparago Condito (steamed asparagus with aromatic spices)
    De Columbis et Acresta (boiled pigeon in spiced vinaigrette*)
    Moretum Pampinaceum Quod Salsam Vocant (vine tendril relish)
    Piscis Persicinus (perch in aspic*)

    A Subtlety for the KIng
    In Cerebrum Vitulinum (spiced calf's brains with eggs and vinegar)

    Second Course
    Minutal Herbaceum (bitter herb soup)
    Cepa sub cinere (roasted onions with rosemary)
    Pulpam Romanam (Spitted and Roasted Veal with Spices)
    De Ranis (frogs with parsley and fennel flowers*)

    Finale
    Nucibus Pineis Saccharo Conditi (Pine Nuts in Sugar)
    Piororum et uvam nigram condimentum (Pears in Dark Grape Sauce)
    Persico (Dried Peaches)

    * Many thanks to our local hunters and anglers for providing
       us with the ingredients for these dishes free of charge.

For your amusement, of course. I hope you enjoyed it. I know
all the people involved the day of enjoyed the joke. For those of
you on the list who helped us out with a few ideas for troublesome
dishes I give you my thanks. To  Allison especially I give my thanks
for the jellied deer hide idea. Next to the subtlety, it was His least
*favorite* dish. :)

Cheers,

Jasmine
Iasmin de Cordoba
formerly head cook for the Midrealm's Spring 2k Coronation feast

PS: More stories soon about the day as I get time to type, plus some
word on the actual dish recipes and our plans for getting the info
out to the members of this list and the known world.