SC - Butchering the Human Carcass for Human Consumption

[Bob Arson]

Butchering the Human Carcass for Human Consumption
	by Bob Arson
	This is a step-by-step guide on how to break down the human body
from the full figure into serviceable choice cuts of meat. As in any
field, there are a number of methods to the practice, and you may wish to
view this as a set of suggestions rather than concrete rules. You will
notice that the carving of the larger or "commercial" cuts down into
smaller specific or "retail" cuts will be only mentioned in passing, and
not concentrated upon. Also, the use of human fat and viscera is
generally avoided, and left only to the most experimental chef. These
choices, along with recipes and serving suggestions, are nearly infinite
in variety, and we leave them to you. We've found these guidelines to be
simple and functional, but recognize that there is always room for
improvement and we welcome your suggestions. Before getting to the main
task, it must be mentioned that the complete rendering of the human
carcass requires a fairly large amount of time, effort, and space. If the
consumer does not wish to go through the ordeal of processing and storing
the bulk of the entire animal, an easy alternative is as follows. Simply
saw through one or both legs at the points directly below the groin and a
few inches above the knee. Once skinned, these portions may then be cut
into round steaks of the carver's preferred thickness, cut into fillets,
deboned for a roast, etc. Meat for several meals is thus readily obtained
without the need for gutting and the complexities of preparing the entire
form.
	The human being (also referred to throughout culinary history as
"long pig") is not generally thought of as a staple food source.
Observing the anatomy and skeleton, one can see that the animal is
neither built nor bred for its meat, and as such will not provide nearly
as much flesh as a pig or cow (for example, an average 1000 pound steer
breaks down to provide 432 pounds of saleable beef). The large central
pelvis and broad shoulder blades also interfere with achieving perfect
cuts. There are advantages to this however, especially due to the fact
that the typical specimen will weigh between 100-200 pounds, easily
manipulated by one person with sufficient leverage.
	Here the caution in choosing your meal must be mentioned. It is
VERY IMPORTANT to remember that animals raised for slaughter are kept in
tightly controlled environments with their health and diet carefully
maintained. Humans are not. Thus not only is the meat of each person of
varying quality, but people are also subject to an enormous range of
diseases, infections, chemical imbalances, and poisonous bad habits, all
typically increasing with age. Also as an animal ages, the meat loses its
tenderness, becoming tough and stringy. No farm animal is ever allowed to
age for thirty years. Six to thirteen months old is a more common
slaughtering point. You will obviously want a youthful but mature
physically fit human in apparently good health. A certain amount of fat
is desirable as "marbling" to add a juicy, flavorful quality to the meat.
We personally prefer firm caucasian females in their early twenties.
These are "ripe". But tastes vary, and it is a very large herd. The
butcher will need a fairly roomy space in which to work (an interior
location is suggested), and a large table for a butcher's block. A
central overhead support will need to be chosen or installed ahead of
time to hang the carcass from. Large tubs or barrels for blood and waste
trimmings should be convenient, and a water source close by. Most of the
work can be done with a few simple tools: sharp, clean short and long
bladed knives, a cleaver or hatchet, and a hacksaw.
	Body Preparation: Acquiring your subject is up to you. For best
results and health, freshness is imperative. A living human in captivity
is optimal, but not always available. When possible make sure the animal
has no food for 48 hours, but plenty of water. This fasting helps flush
the system, purging stored toxins and bodily wastes, as well as making
bleeding and cleaning easier. Under ideal conditions, the specimen will
then be stunned into insensitivity. Sharp unexpected blows to the head
are best, tranquilizers not being recommended as they may taint the
flavor of the meat. If this is not possible without exciting the animal
and causing a struggle (which will pump a greater volume of blood and
secretions such as adrenaline throughout the body), a single bullet
through the middle of the forehead or back of the skull will suffice.
	Hanging: Once the animal is unconscious or dead, it is ready to
be hoisted. Get the feet up first, then the hands, with the head down.
This is called the "Gein configuration". Simple loops of rope may be tied
around the hands and feet and then attached to a crossbar or overhead
beam. Or, by making a cut behind the Achilles tendon, a meathook may be
inserted into each ankle for hanging support. The legs should be spread
so that the feet are outside the shoulders, with the arms roughly
parallel to the legs. This provides access to the pelvis, and keeps the
arms out of the way in a ready position for removal. It's easiest to work
if the feet are slightly above the level of the butcher's head.
	Bleeding: Place a large open vessel beneath the animal's head.
With a long-bladed knife, start at one corner of the jaw and make a deep
"ear-to-ear" cut through the neck and larynx to the opposite side. This
will sever the internal and external carotid arteries, the major blood
vessels carrying blood from the heart to the head, face, and brain. If
the animal is not yet dead, this will kill it quickly, and allow for the
blood to drain in any case. After the initial rush of blood, the stream
should be controllable and can be directed into a receptacle. Drainage
can be assisted by massaging the extremities down in the direction of the
trunk, and by compressing and releasing, "pumping", the stomach. A mature
specimen will contain almost six liters of blood. There is no use for
this fluid, unless some source is waiting to use it immediately for
ritual purposes. It acts as an emetic in most people if drunk, and it
must be mentioned here that because of the eternal possibility of AIDS it
is recommended that for safety's sake all blood should be considered to
be contaminated and disposed of in some fashion. It is not known whether
an HlV-infected human's flesh is dangerous even if cooked, but this is
another item to consider when choosing a specimen, someone in the
low-risk strata.
	Beheading: When the bleeding slows, preparation for decapitation
can be started. Continue the cut to the throat around the entire neck,
from the jawline to the back of the skull. Once muscle and ligament have
been sliced away, the head can be cleanly removed by gripping it on
either side and twisting it off, separation occurring where the spinal
cord meets the skull. This is indicative of the method to be used for
dividing other bones or joints, in that the meat should generally be cut
through first with a knife, and the exposed bone then separated with a
saw or cleaver. The merits of keeping the skull as a trophy are debatable
for two principal reasons. First, a human skull may call suspicious
attention to the new owner. Secondly, thorough cleaning is difficult due
to the large brain mass, which is hard to remove without opening the
skull. The brain is not good to eat. Removing the tongue and eyes,
skinning the head, and placing it outside in a wire cage may be
effective. The cage allows small scavengers such as ants and maggots to
cleanse the flesh from the bones, while preventing it being carried off
by larger scavengers, such as dogs and children. After a sufficient
period of time, you may retrieve the skull and boil it in a dilute bleach
solution to sterilize it and wash away any remaining tissue.
	Skinning: After removing the head, wash the rest of the body
down. Because there is no major market for human hides, particular care
in removing the skin in a single piece is not necessary, and makes the
task much easier. The skin is in fact a large organ, and by flaying the
carcass you not only expose the muscular configuration, but also get rid
of the hair and the tiny distasteful glands which produce sweat and oil.
A short-bladed knife should be used to avoid slicing into muscle and
viscera. The skin is composed of two layers, an outer thinner one with a
thicker tissue layer below it. When skinning, first score the surface,
cutting lightly to be sure of depth and direction. The diagram of the
skinning pattern is an example of strip-style skinning, dividing the
surface into portions easy to handle. Reflect the skin by lifting up and
peeling back with one hand, while bringing the knife in as flat to the
skin as possible to cut away connective tissue. The external genitals
present only a small obstacle. In the male the penis and scrotum can be
pulled away from the body and severed, in the female the outer lips
skinned as the rest of the body. It is important to leave the anus
untouched at this point, and a circle of skin should be left around it.
You need not bother skinning the hands and feet, these portions not being
worth the effort unless you plan to pickle them or use them in soup. The
skin can be disposed of, or made into fried rinds. Boil the strips and
peel away the outer layer, then cut into smaller pieces and deep-fat fry
in boiling oil until puffy and crisp. Dust with garlic salt, paprika and
cayenne pepper.
	Gutting: The next major step is complete evisceration of the
carcass. To begin, make a cut from the solar plexus, the point between
the breastbone and stomach, almost to the anus. Be very careful not to
cut into the intestines, as this will contaminate the surrounding area
with bacteria and possibly feces (if this does happen, cleanse
thoroughly). A good way to avoid this is to use the knife inside the
abdominal wall, blade facing toward you, and making cautious progress.
Make a cut around the anus, or "bung", and tie it off with twine. This
also prevents contamination, keeping the body from voiding any material
left in the bowel. With a saw, cut through the pubic bone, or "aitch".
The lower body is now completely open, and you can begin to pull the
organ masses (large and small intestines, kidneys, liver, stomach) out
and cut them away from the back wall of the body. For the upper torso,
first cut through the diaphragm around the inner surface of the carcass.
This is the muscular membrane which divides the upper, or thoracic, and
the lower abdominal cavities. Remove the breastbone, cutting down to the
point on each side where it connects to the ribs, and then sawing through
and detaching it from the collar bone. Some prefer to cut straight
through the middle, depending on the ideas you have for cuts in the final
stages. The heart and lungs may be detached and the throat cut into to
remove the larynx and trachea. Once all of the inner organs have been
removed, trim away any blood vessels or remaining pieces of connective
tissue from the interior of the carcass, and wash out thoroughly.
	Remove the Arms: Actual butchering of the carcass is now ready to
begin. Cut into the armpit straight to the shoulder, and remove the arm
bone, the humerus, from the collar bone and shoulder blade. Chop the hand
off an inch or so above the wrist. Most of the meat here is between elbow
and shoulder, as the muscle groups are larger here and due to the fact
that there are two bones in the forearm. Another way of cutting this
portion is to cut away the deltoid muscle from the upper arm near the
shoulder (but leaving it attached to the trunk) before removing the limb.
This decreases the percentage of useable meat on the arm, but allows a
larger shoulder strip when excising the shoulder blade. Purely a matter
of personal preference. Cut into and break apart the joint of the elbow,
and the two halves of each arm are now ready for carving servings from.
Human flesh should always be properly cooked before eating.
	Halving the Carcass: The main body is now ready to be split. Some
like to saw straight through the spine from buttocks to neck. This leaves
the muscle fiber encasing the vertebrae on the end of the ribs. The meat
here however is tightly wrapped about the bone, and we find it more
suitable (if used at all) when boiled for soup. Thus, our preferred
method is to completely remove the entire backbone by cutting and then
sawing down either side from the tailbone on through.
	Quartering the Carcass: The halves may now be taken down, unless
your preparation table or butcher block is very short. This is
inadequate, and you will have to quarter while hanging, slicing through
the side at a point of your choosing between rib cage and pelvis. Now is
also the time to begin thinking about how you would like to serve the
flesh, as this will determine the style of cuts you are about to make.
These will also be greatly affected by the muscular configuration
(physical fitness) of your specimen. First, chop the feet off at a point
about three inches up from the ankle. The bones are very thick where the
leg connects to the foot. You will want to divide the side of meat into
two further principal portions: the ribs and shoulder, and the
half-pelvis and leg. In between is the "flank" or belly, which may be
used for fillets or steaks, if thick enough, or even bacon strips if you
wish to cut this thinly. Thin and wide strips of flesh may also be
rolled, and cooked to serve as a roast. Trim away along the edge of the
ribs, and then decide whether you will cut steaks from the flank into the
thighs and rump, and carve accordingly.
	Cutting the Top Quarter: Although not actually 25% of the meat
you will get, this is designated as one-fourth of the carcass as divided
into major portions. You may trim away the neck, or leave it to be
connected with the shoulder, or "chuck". The first major step with this
mass is to remove the shoulder blade and the collar bone. The best and
easiest way we have found is to just cut along the outline of the
shoulder blade, removing the meat on top and then dislocating the large
bone. To excise the collar bone make an incision along its length and
then cut and pry it away. Depending upon the development of the breast,
you may decide it qualifies as a "brisket" and remove it before cutting
the ribs. In the female the breast is composed largely of glands and
fatty tissue, and despite its appetizing appearance is rather inedible.
The ribs are the choice cut of the quarter. An perennial favorite for
barbecuing, you may divide into sections of several ribs each and cook
them as is, divide the strip in half for shorter ribs, or even carve rib
steaks if the muscle mass is sufficient.
	Cutting the Lower Quarter: This is where most of the meat is,
humans being upright animals. The muscle mass is largest in the legs and
rump. The bulk is so comparatively large here that you can do just about
anything with it. The main pieces are the buttock or rump and the upper
leg, the thigh. Our typical division is to cut the leg off at the bottom
of the buttock, then chop away the bony mass of the knee, at places two
to three inches away in either direction. Before doing this, however, you
may want to remove the whole calf muscle from the back of the lower leg,
as this is the best cut in its area. The upper leg is now ready for
anything, most especially some beautiful, thick round steaks. The rump
will have to be carved from the pelvis in a rather triangular piece. The
legs attach at the hip at a forward point on the body, so there will be
little interference as you carve along the curve of the pelvis. Remaining
meat will be on the thighs in front of the pelvis.
	And that's basically it. An average freezer provides plenty of
storage space, or you may even wish to build a simple old-fashioned
smokehouse (just like an outhouse, with a stone firepit instead of a
shitter). Offal and other waste trimmings can be disposed of in a number
of ways, burial, animal feed, and puree and flush being just a few. Bones
will dry and become brittle after being baked an oven, and can be
pulverized.

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