SC - now wasn't that a tasty dish

[Siegfried Heydrich]

    And the next sound you hear will be that of an SS-20 MIRVing on a
conjunct trajectory over your house . . . Or, as they say in Sicily,
BadaBing!

    Sieggy


> Midrealm Coronation Feast is now over. I'll probably post a few things
> about how it all went, but now that I'm able to move from my comatose
> state, I thought I'd share with you all (and those of you who helped)
> a little bit about this nifty joke we played on His now-Majesty Dag.
>
> About a week before the feast, Her Majesty, then Highness, sent me
> e-mail asking me if I wanted to play an eensy little joke on the king.
> Leaping before I looked, determined to "serve where serve I might"
> I immediately responded with an affirmative and therein began a
> fine joke.
>
> Her Majesty sent me a list of every single thing she could think of that
> was offensive or not liked by His Majesty in terms of food. Organ
> meats topped the list, but it also included jellied dishes and asparagus.
> Her Majesty and I managed to use this information to come up with a
> menu that only His Majesty would see, with hopes that he would think
> it was what he would actually have to eat.
>
> Of course I let my staff in on the secret. And a few of you on the list
> knew about it because we privately asked for advice. We came up
> with a list of actual period recipes and interspersed them with
> the dishes we would really serve in the feast. The King was already
> aware that we had obtained a live veal calf for butchering. And
> unbeknownst to me, he'd actually asked two of the people on his
> staff (who were conveniently on *my* staff for the cooking) what
> they thought of the dishes. Their answer? "I think you'll find the
> feast rather interesting, Sir."
>
> Let me just cut to the chase and let you know that he fell for it.
> In fact I'd bet that it would be more than safe to say that he fell
> hook, line, and sinker. We designed the menus to look exactly
> the same so that a glance at the real menu wouldn't necessarily
> ruin the surprise. The fake menu was posted in Their Majesty's
> Royalty Room and placed on Their plates in the feast hall.
>
> As it got closer and closer to the time for food to go out, His
> Majesty got more and more nervous and began questioning not
> only His Queen but also the other Royalty at the table with Him.
> Having real menus in front of them allowed them to express
> genuine surprise at his reticence and nervousness over the meal.
> They all thought it looked wonderful. He obviously did not.
>
> About the time the third course was coming out, he realized that
> he'd been had in a most Royal way. He was kind enough to share
> the joke with the entire hall, many of whom found the joke quite
> amusing. Here is the menu we came up with that he read out to
> the hall:
>
>     Introductory Course
>     Panis (Bread) et caseo (cheeses)
>     Esicium ex Iecore (liver paté)
>     Cibarium ex Intestinis (herbed deer intestines*)
>     Rehaut galentine (jellied venison hide*)
>
>     FIrst Course
>     De Asparago Condito (steamed asparagus with aromatic spices)
>     De Columbis et Acresta (boiled pigeon in spiced vinaigrette*)
>     Moretum Pampinaceum Quod Salsam Vocant (vine tendril relish)
>     Piscis Persicinus (perch in aspic*)
>
>     A Subtlety for the KIng
>     In Cerebrum Vitulinum (spiced calf's brains with eggs and vinegar)
>
>     Second Course
>     Minutal Herbaceum (bitter herb soup)
>     Cepa sub cinere (roasted onions with rosemary)
>     Pulpam Romanam (Spitted and Roasted Veal with Spices)
>     De Ranis (frogs with parsley and fennel flowers*)
>
>     Finale
>     Nucibus Pineis Saccharo Conditi (Pine Nuts in Sugar)
>     Piororum et uvam nigram condimentum (Pears in Dark Grape Sauce)
>     Persico (Dried Peaches)
>
>     * Many thanks to our local hunters and anglers for providing
>        us with the ingredients for these dishes free of charge.
>
> For your amusement, of course. I hope you enjoyed it. I know
> all the people involved the day of enjoyed the joke. For those of
> you on the list who helped us out with a few ideas for troublesome
> dishes I give you my thanks. To  Allison especially I give my thanks
> for the jellied deer hide idea. Next to the subtlety, it was His least
> *favorite* dish. :)
>
> Cheers,
>
> Jasmine
> Iasmin de Cordoba
> formerly head cook for the Midrealm's Spring 2k Coronation feast
>
> PS: More stories soon about the day as I get time to type, plus some
> word on the actual dish recipes and our plans for getting the info
> out to the members of this list and the known world.
>
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