SC - Re: sca-cooks V1 #2311

[Kay Loidolt]

To all on this list, I saw this on the SCA-Cooks list and just had to 
share it with my fellow apprentii esp. early period people and 
spinners!!
Johann
> Date: Tue, 23 May 2000 21:35:17 -0700
> From: "James F. Johnson" <seumas at mind.net>
> Subject: SC - Carolingian Woman - humour
> 
> My sister sent me this section from a mundane 1950s high school home ec
> textbook, on how a woman of the 50s should treat her husband. Followed
> by the year 2000 version. 'Lainie's brilliant daughter, Rotrude
> (Anne-Marie) wrote her Carolingian woman version and said I could post
> it here (following the original 1950s and 2000 versions):
> 
> Subject: Woman of the Century
> 
> So, are you a 1950's girl of the 2000's ??????????
> 
>  What a difference 40 years can make!  This is hilarious! The
> following is from an actual 1950's Home Economics textbook intended
> for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.
> 
>    1. HAVE DINNER READY:  Plan ahead, even the  night before, to have a
>       delicious meal - on time.   This is a way of letting him know that
>       you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his
> needs.
>       Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a
>       good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
> 
>    2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed
>       when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair
>       and be fresh looking.   He has just been with a lot of work-weary
>       people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring
>       day may need a lift.
> 
>    3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER. Make one last trip through the main part of
>       the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school
>       books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables.
> Your
>       husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and
> it        will give you a lift too.
> 
>    4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN.   Take a few minutes to wash the children's
>       hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if
>       necessary, change their clothes.   They are little treasures and
> he
> 
>    5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE:  At the time of his arrival, eliminate all
>       noise of washer, dryer, or vacuum.   Try to encourage the
>       children to be quiet.  Greet him with a  warm smile and
> kiss,
> 
>    6. Some Don'ts:  Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't
>       complain if he's late for dinner.   Count this as minor compared
>       with what he might have gone through that day.
> 
>    7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE.   Have him lean back in a comfortable chair
>       or suggest he lay down in the bedroom.   Have a cool or warm
>       drink ready for him.   Arrange his pillow and offer to take off
> his       shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice.
> Allow
> 
>    8. LISTEN TO HIM:  You may have a dozen things to tell  him, but the
>       moment of his arrival is not the time.   Let him talk first.
> 
>    9. MAKE THE EVENING  HIS:  Never complain if he does not take you
>       out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to
>       understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be
>       home and relax.
> 
>    10. THE GOAL: try to make your home a place of peace and order where
>        your husband can relax.
> 
>  ********************************************************
>   WELCOME TO 2000!
> 
>   1. HAVE DINNER READY: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day
>      becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding
>      where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know
> that         your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to
> change your      mood.
> 
>   2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Make sure to change out of your work clothes
>      into something comfortable.   Who cares if he likes it or not . . .
>      after all, it's most likely his T-shirt and boxers.
> 
>   3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER: Yeah right!   Tell the kids and your husband
>      if they want maid service, they better call one!
> 
>   4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Send the children to their rooms to watch
>      television or play Nintendo.
> 
>   5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE: Yell to him over the loud music your kids are
>      playing, that this is what you had to put up with while he was
>      gone. And mention that it was his decision to buy the kids a new CD
>      player in the first place.
> 
>   6. SOME Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him
>      speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and
>      remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner.   Don't complain if
>      he's late for dinner, simply remind him that the leftovers are in
> the
>      fridge and you left the dishes for him to do.
> 
>   7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's
>      cold. This will really show you care.
> 
>   8. LISTEN TO HIM: But don't ever let him get the last word.
> 
>   9. MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out
>      to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go
>      shopping use his credit card). Familiarize him with the phrase
>      "Girls' Night Out!"
> 
>   10. THE  GOAL:  Try to keep things amicable without reminding him
>      that he only thinks the world revolves around him.   Obviously he's
>      wrong, it revolves around you.
> 
> ===============
> WELCOME TO 900!
>    1. HAVE DINNER READY: Even if you have to have some of those
> ill-bred kitchen boys beaten first.
> 
>    2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Stop that spinning! It will make you feel
> better. Rebraid your hair, put on a clean veil, and get the wool grease
> out from under your fingernails.
> 
> >    3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER. Get some servant to make sure that the
> spear rack is set up, and set it right by the door so that he can't
> miss it. It is no fun to trip over someone else's spear. Give bribes to
> the beggars at the front gate to ensure that they will go away. This
> will tell your husband that you care, although his poor spooked horses
> will be even more appreciative.
> 
>     4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN. Clean the blood and dust off, confiscate
> their toy swords for the evening (if they're male), and send them out
> to play in the courtyard with the chickens and the stableboy.
> 
>  5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE: Tell that annoying troupe of scruffy traveling
> singers that the bishop has banned their performance today because it
> is the anniversary of the matyrdom of St. Musicas.
> 
>     6. Some Don'ts:  Don't greet him with problems or complaints.
> He already knows about the invading army, the plauge, and the economic
> crisis, so you won't be telling him anything new. You can wait until
> bedtime to tell him exactly how boring it is to do nothing but spin all
> day, and this will ensure that he pretends to be sympathetic. But don't
> worry, there are plenty of servants to lash out at when he's gone.
> 
>   7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE. Hand him some of your best homebrewed ale,
> and he won't notice that he's sitting on a hard stone bench.
> 
>    8. LISTEN TO HIM: So what if he can't sing when he's drunk. He
> thinks he sounds wonderful, and he might become disheartened if you
> tell him otherwise. And a disheartened husband won't go out hunting for
> you. He might mope about the house and interrupt your spinning instead.
> 
>     9. MAKE THE EVENING  HIS: Send him out hunting. It will give you
> some peace and quiet, and you'll have fresh meat tomorrow.
> 
>     10. THE GOAL: Try to make your home a place of peace and order,
>  where you can spin in an environment free of distractions.
>