[Sca-cooks] Personal Iron Chef Challenge

[jenne at fiedlerfamily.net]

> Actually, funerals, I believe, are not really for the person who has died, but
> rather for those of us who remain behind.  I went to my stepmother's funeral
> more to be there to comfort my father than anything else.  That's not to say
> that my stepmother wasn't a great person...it's just that she was beyond
> caring whether I was there or not.  But my father grieved over her death
> greatly and needed me there with him.  That's what really needs to be
> considered.

Yes. If the living need you to be there for support, you should go... in
my family(ies), however, the fact of the funeral is less important than
that you are there at some point. I made a point of going to my
(semi-estranged) father's funeral for the sake of my grandparents (and I'm
glad I did); but when my great-aunt was dying, my mom and I drove to LI to
be there to see her before she went, and nobody in the family expressed
disapproval that I didn't attend the funeral because I had to turn around
and go to Pennsic to teach. "You were there when it counted," they said.

(Nor, if I hadn't been able to get word to the A&S table to cancel my
first class, would they have kicked up a fuss if I left to go teach that
class. Well... any more of a fuss: when I left they were arguing about
what shoes she should be buried in. ;)

On the other hand, I had to choose between going to help at an event for a
friend of mine and going to the mundane funeral of someone in my shire.
Fortunately, others in the shire went, to express our collective grief and
respect, so I was able to go to the living friend and express my sympathy
to the family of the dead one at the SCA funeral.

-- Jadwiga Zajaczkowa
jenne at fiedlerfamily.net OR jenne at tulgey.browser.net OR jahb at lehigh.edu
"Are you finished? If you're finished, you'll have to put down the spoon."