[Sca-cooks] Twas the Night...

[Olwen the Odd]

Good one!!  Thanks!

>[It's a little late, but I think it still applies...]
>
>for the crazed cook in some of us..
>
>'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen;
>I was cooking and baking and moaning and bitchin.
>I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest.
>This room's a disaster, just look at this mess!
>Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
>They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
>
>My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
>The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
>There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
>Frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
>Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;
>My cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
>
>I've had alI I can stand, I can't take anymore;
>Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
>He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
>Then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"
>He looks all around and with total regret,
>Says, "What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet?"
>
>As quick as a flash I reach for a knife;
>He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!
>He flees from the room in terror and pain
>And screams, "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE!!"
>
>Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
>Oh darn it's the pies! They're burned all to hell!
>I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
>But I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
>What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?
>
>If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.
>Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
>It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
>But I promise you one thing, If I live 'til next year,
>You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
>I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
>
>And if that doesn't work, I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!
>
>
>
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