[Sca-cooks] OT OOP But too funny to pass up.

[Chris Stanifer]

If anyone on the list has yet to visit the Brunching
Shuttlecocks web site, I would highly recommend it.
This is their latest offering in the 'Ratings' section
of the website:

The 8 Worst Convenience Foods

 8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's
sauerkraut
juice, which
is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can
be a bit,
well, harsh,
but KJ is reputed by its fans to have certain
medicinal benefits (as
a
source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.),
which adds up
to a
classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.

 7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee
Imports): The
best
thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very
pouty-looking
sheep on
the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on,
eat  me
already."  The
second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked
mutton" and
"mutton" in
the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all
the mutton
bases
covered.

 6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If
you're really
looking
to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be
pleased to learn
that a
single serving of pork brains has 1,170 percent of our
recommended
daily
cholesterol intake. All the more ingenious, then, that
the label on
this
product helpfully features a recipe for brains and
scrambled eggs.

 5. Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken (Sweet Sue
Kitchens, Inc.): From
its size
think growth-impaired Cornish hen) to its overall
appearance (it's
stewed in
a quivering mass of aspic goop), this product may
change forever
your idea
of what constitutes a chicken. Gives new meaning to
the old line
about meat
"falling off the bone."

 4. Musk Life Savers (Nestle Confectionery): You may
think musk is a
scent,
but over in Australia, they think it's a candy flavor.
A candy
flavor that
tastes disturbingly like raw meat, to be precise. But
what did you
expect
from a country where everyone happily consumes
Vegemite?

 3. Blind Robins Smoked Ocean Herring (recently
discontinued by Bar
Food
Products): Possibly the world's most bizarre
prepackaged tavern
snack.
Interestingly, the product's titular robin isn't
actually blind,
he's
blindfolded -- the better, presumably, to avoid
looking at these
heavily
salted herring strips, which look like giant slugs.

 2. Kylmaenen Reindeer Pate` (Kylmaenen Oy): This
Finnish canned
good may
not be particularly tasty, but at least it answers the
age-old
question of
why Rudolph was so eager for that safe, steady job on
Santa's sleigh
team --
he didn't want to end up a cracker spread.

 1. Tengu Clam Jerky (Tengu Co.): Nothing you've ever
consumed can
prepare
you for the horror that is clam jerky. Still, this
product does
score a sort
of conceptual coup: If you're the sort who's always
found raw clams
too
slimy and gelatinous for your taste, these dried,
shriveled mollusks
will
help you dislike clams on a whole new level.


Balthazar of Blackmoor




=====
Words are Trains for moving past what really has no name...

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