[Sca-cooks] Hollandaise, was Bearnaise Sauce

[Philip & Susan Troy]

Also sprach Christine Seelye-King:
>One of the things I learned while an apprentice chef back in the '80's, was
>that everyone had something to teach, even if it was the way NOT to do
>something.  I worked with this large black man named Sherman, who seemed to
>have just stepped out of a Fat Albert cartoon.  He was forever goading me
>and others to 'Hustle Baby, Hustle!'

<snip>

>He started with
>a blender, chicken stock, Supreme (butter flavored cooking grease in a can),
>and whole eggs.  He blended this all together until it was homogenized, and
>viola, a yellow sauce to be served to unsuspecting guests.  (Note: I have
>never made it this way, I just watched in horror.  MY hollandaise is the
>best [apologies to those who feel similarly about theirs] and will hold up
>for several hours, what we called "All Day Hollandaise" in the restuarant.)

Ah, yes, the double bain-marie with the wet towel in between. Even
holds beurre blanc for an entire evening...

I am reminded of a guy named Mike, with whom I worked in a restaurant
that closed pretty suddenly one evening with a medium-full
reservation book and an unexpected change in their status as
money-launderer to a biznezman wit' interests in th' impawt and
expawt of olive oil, labuh yoonyuns, and, I think, phahmasooticals,
if you know what I'm sayin'. Mike had an interesting philosophy,
chief tenets of which included the fact that the wealthy are above
the law, and that John Gotti and Leona Helmsley should be running the
country (not too far off, actually)... most common expressions in
speech were "Fuhgeddabowdit!" and "Whatevuh!"

Mike, however, cooked once, before my eyes, an allegedly Italian dish
which should have been for chicken breast cutlets rolled in seasoned
flour, sauteed in olive oil and butter, and sauced with a white-wine,
lemon, and butter emulsion. Instead, he put the wine and lemon in a
sauce pan, added a couple of pounds of butter, and brought it all to
a boil, after which he dumped the cutlets (which he had previously
floured and deep-fried until brown but not fully cooked) into the
sauce to finish cooking, until the sauce was broken and the cutlets
nice and soggy.

I think I asked him, once only, if he was sure he knew what he was
doing. He said, "Yeah, dey like it like dat!" Before I continue, it's
worth mentioning that we had no actual supervisor at that point, the
executive chef having been fired a few days before, and was,
essentially, never replaced.

Finally, I couldn't take any more, essentially lost my mind, and
loudly accused him of being a culinary rapist. "Duh b**ch was beggin'
faw it!" I screamed. "Oh, she told duh cops she didn't like her
chicken cutlets boiled in sour grease, but I knoo she wan-ned it! Dey
all wann it! Dey like it like dat! Fuhgeddabowdit!"

Irony not being this guy's strong suit, I don't think he got my
point, but it felt good anyway... a couple of days after that the
management announced, at 4:30 PM, that they would be closing for
three months as of that evening, to reopen with new management, and
we all had their blessing to apply for unemployment insurance
benefits. Two minutes later I found myself alone in the kitchen, with
about 150 reservations on the book, and I got the sense that their
offer of the job of executive chef pro tem, just as I was going out
the door, was not actually sincere.

>But, as I say, I did learn how to absolutely NOT make this sauce.
>By the way, I haven't read all of this thread, but our bernaise was always
>made from hollandaise, with the addition of taragon infused vinegar after
>the mother sauce was completed.

That's a common restaurant expedient, but technically, Hollandaise is
not a mother sauce for Bearnaise, one being, generally, lemon-based,
and the other, vinegar-based.

>   There are lots of other derivations, my
>least favorite being the one with mint added (blech), especially when I saw
>folks adding mint JELLY instead of fresh mint or vinegar with mint infused
>in it.  REALLY BLECH!  Always wanted to try the one with blood oranges
>added, but had not really even seen a blood orange until the last couple of
>years.

Sauce Maltaise. Yes, it's fun. I've never encountered a mint version...

>   Maybe I'll have to make a batch of hollandaise (oh, bother ;) and
>try it just to see what it's like.  (Wish I could remember all the names for
>the various derivations, I guess I'll have to pull out Escoffier.)

I _highly_ recommend Raymond Sokolov's _The Saucier's Apprentice_,
which deals only with sauces, and gives an extremely detailed rundown
of mother and daughter sauces, and their variations.

Adamantius ("Fuhgeddabowdit!")

--
"No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes
deserves to be called a scholar."
	-DONALD FOSTER