[Sca-cooks] Vegetarian wisdom- OOP

[Philippa Alderton]

Well, I guess this is one way to look at things ;-)

Phlip

>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
vegetables?
>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does
a cow eat? Hay and
>corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is
nothing more than an
>efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain?
>Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field
grass (green leafy
>vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily
>allowance of vegetable slop.
>
>Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
>A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits
and vegetables. As we
>all know, scientists divide everything in the world
into three
>categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all
know that beer and
>wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic
table of elements
>so that only leaves one thing, right
>My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your
liquid vegetables.
>
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days
in vegetable oil. In
>fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad
>for you
>
>Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
>A: Thicker gravy.
>
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>A: Are you crazy? Hello..... Cocoa beans... Another
vegetable!!! It's
>the best feel good food around!"
>
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can
prolong life. Is this
>true?
>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it .... don't
>waste them on exercise. Everything wears out
eventually. Speeding up
>your heart will not make you live longer; that's like
saying you can
>extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer?
>Take a nap.
>
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating
in a regular
>exercise program?
>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
is: No Pain...Good!
>
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the
>middle?
>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
gets bigger. You
>should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger
stomach.
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat,
your ratio is one to
>one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to
one, etc.
>
>Well I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions
you may have had
>about food and diets. Have a cookie... flour is a
veggie!
>
>One more thing ... "When life hands you lemons, ask
for a bottle of
>tequila and salt."

=====
Never a horse that cain't be rode,
And never a rider who cain't be throwed....

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