[Sca-cooks] A bewilderment...

[lilinah at earthlink.net]

Phillipa wrote:
>I've never had tofurky but everyone I know who has had it says it's nasty
>stuff. Has anyone on list tried it? opionions?

I wrote an extended post about cooking one in 2001 for Thanksgiving. 
Then i cooked an Un-Turkey for Christmas and posted

Un-Turkey was better than Tofurkey, but the Tofurkey gravy was better 
than the Un-Turkey gravy

They aren't tofu, but blends of tofu and seitan, and one even has 
yuba "skin". Below are both of my previous messages...

Anahita

First the Tofurkey...

From: lilinah at earthlink.net
Date: Thu, 22 Nov 2001 15:07:03 -0800
Subject: [Sca-cooks] The Tofurky Report

Just because we thought you'd like to know...

OK, so sad, cold, and lonely me went to the health food store last
night and bought this Tofurky ("A Delicious Vegetarian Roast," touts
the box, "100 per cent Vegan" - well as far as i could tell it was
NOT made out of vegans - probably would have tasted better...) and
its partner, Tofurky "Giblet" Gravy, products of Turtle Island Foods
http://www.tofurky.com
My daughter, who was elsewhere, is a vegetarian, considering becoming
a vegan, and i figured i might as well try it out for the next time
she's around.

As a former vegetarian, i don't expect vegetarian "meat substitutes"
to taste like the meat they're pretending to be. Good thing, too, as
this concoction of "vital wheat gluten", tofu, white beans, garbanzo
beans, and other stuff didn't taste like or have the texture of
turkey at all. That wouldn't have been so bad if it had been tastier.
I *love* the seitan (White Wave brand) i get. I even enjoy the
"Unribs" (seitan strips in Bar-B-Q sauce) and "UnChicken Breast"
(seitan wrapped in yuba) i buy (some other brand).

Following the package directions, I put the Tofurky on some aluminum
foil in a small pan (actually, i used a cake pan). Then i dotted some
butter under it and on top of it, 'cuz i like butter. Then i wrapped
it and baked it according to directions (350 degrees F. for 45 min.).
It appeared to be wrapped in yuba to simulate skin (yuba is a thin,
rubbery soy food product - it's pretty good, despite my description).
The yuba on the bottom browned and crisped nicely, almost like real
turkey skin. The Tofurky "meat", however, was far from "fork tender".
It was tough, it was bland, but it was ok. I'd consider getting
again, if only i could get it without the stuffing...

Yes, it was pre-stuffed. And the stuffing... Yuck! Ingredients for
the Stuffing sound good: brown rice, wild rice, bread cubes, onion,
celery, natural vegetarian seasoning, canola oil, herbs and spices.
You could have fooled me. Sure didn't taste like there were any
vegetarians in it (ok, so the joke is getting stale...). It was a
gooey, texture-less mess, the boring beige color of both the tofurky
and the dressing relieved by the occasional dark fleck i suppose were
the remains of wild rice. The savory seasonings were dominated (with
leather, chains, and whips) by sage. I couldn't taste much else in
it. I don't mind sage, but i like to taste other things, too. It was
really icky, pasty, gummy...

The Tofurky "Giblet" Gravy (that's how it's written on the package)
was really weird. I followed the directions: "Heat over slow heat,
stirring occasionally." It sat in the pan, a lump of spongy stuff
with liquid gradually seeping out. So i mashed it with a fork. The
lumps just sat there, never liquefying. So i got out a whisk. Bet the
heck out of it. At least i got the lumps out and made it into a thick
paste. It warmed up and tasted fine, actually sort of like turkey
gravy, but i sure had to work at it. I'd consider getting it again,
but i'd probably just as soon make my own. (Ingredients [slightly
edited]: water, unbleached flour, canola oil, Tofurky Giblets (water,
soybeans) white beans, garbanzo beans, natural vegetarian flavor,
canola oil, shoyu, spices, lemon juice, calcium lactate, salt],
natural vegetarian flavor, spices, fructose, sea salt, onion powder,
garlic powder, autolyzed yeast, caramel color, non-dairy lactic acid
culture.)

The Tofurky box says it makes 4 servings. I think this is accurate.
If you are an omnivore with vegetarian or vegan friends and you don't
think you have enough other dishes in your Thanksgiving or Christmas
meal to feed them, this is worth getting. It was not horrible (well,
except maybe the stuffing). It is frozen at the store and the box
says to thaw in the refrigerator 24 to 48 hours before cooking. I
left it out overnight (there's no heat here - it's in the mid-60's
indoors) and it was thawed by mid-morning. Once thawed, it baked as
described, so it's pretty quick and easy. It looks like a turkey
breast and slices nicely. The gravy was tasty. Not a complete waste.
And i'm not sorry i got it. The larger package (6 or more servings)
includes tempeh (another soy food, this time from Indonesia)
"drumsticks", and tofu jerky wishbones...

Next time i'll try the "Now and Zen" brand "Unturkey", from a local
San Francisco Vegan bakery...

As for accompaniments...
I made my own improvised cranberry sauce that i'm really happy with:

1 bag cranberries (not sure, maybe 12 oz - i can't find the bag now)
1 Valencia Orange
1-1/2 cups granulated white sugar
1 cup water
generous pinch powdered cinnamon
pinch powdered clove
pinch grated nutmeg
couple pinches powdered ginger
A whole lotta whole pecan halves

I dumped the cranberries from the bag into a 1-1/2 or 2 qt. saucepan,
added sugar and water (i used an empty 8-oz yogurt container as a
measuring cup), and turned the fire on high to bring it to a boil.

While the pot was on the fire i started cutting up the orange, having
no equipment but a knife. I cut the orange in half, then quarters,
then cut each piece in half, then half again. I made 4 to 5 cuts
through the juicy flesh and scraped it into the pot. Then i began
making cuts into the rind so that i made tiny little "match heads".
There was no cutting board where i was, so i just sliced it over the
pot.

As the liquid in the pot was coming to a boil, I stirred it several
times. It boiled long before i was finished cutting the orange. I
turned the fire down to a simmer and stirred roughly, mashing the
cranberries a bit.

Once i'd finally gotten all the orange into the pot, i reduced the
fire to low. Then i added the spices. I let it warm a bit to release
the spices, then turned off the fire to let it cool. After a while, i
put it into the refrigerator to cool further.

Shortly before serving, i put the pecan halves on some foil under the
broiler to toast, checking frequently to make sure they didn't burn
(the oven was at 350, roasting my "Tofurky"). Once toasted, i let
them cool a little. After all the food was ready, i tossed them over
the cranberry relish in my dish.

The relish was only very slightly spicy - i didn't want it to compete
with the rest of my meal or the pumpkin pie at the end - but i think
i'd have liked more ginger in it. I think candied ginger would be
great in this... maybe next time... It was beautiful, translucent,
slightly jellied, with well-cooked bits of orange meat and tiny soft
bits of candied rind. Mmm-mmm-mmm.

I also pan cooked some "mixed field greens" in butter until soft and
tender, put them on my plate and sprinkled them with a little salt. I
like greens. I'd have preferred some soy sauce, but guess my friend
doesn't have any - i sure couldn't find any. (i'm at a friend's while
he's in SoCal visiting his mom)

I had three slices of Tofurky and gravy, there was only one serving
of greens (they sure cook down), and i had one serving of cranberry
sauce - i may pour some over my pumpkin pie. Oh, yes, time to heat
that up in the oven (also purchased at the health food store - made
with real butter).

I hope you're all eating well.

Anahita,
thankful for such a swell bunch of friends as you guys and guyettes

And now the UnTurkey:

From: lilinah at earthlink.net
Date: Wed, 26 Dec 2001 00:01:26 -0800
Subject: [Sca-cooks] And now for... UnTurkey

I'm sure you all remember my Tofurkey Report after Thanksgiving. I
hope it gave some folks a chuckle.

In the interest of science, well, ok, my curiosity, for Christmas i
bought an UnTurkey. I will spare you and won't go into the same
detail as i did with the Tofurkey.

UnTurkey is made by "Now and Zen", a San Francisco vegan restaurant
and bakery. I've never eaten there, but i have occasionally purchased
some of their baked goods. Made with soy products rather than dairy,
they're pretty good. Not as good as those made with butter and cream,
but with all the other high quality ingredients in their pastries,
they are infinitely better than the nasty sheet cakes one gets at the
supermarket frosted with hydrogenated vegetable fat or cakes made
from boxed mixes.

So i had some hopes that the UnTurkey would be better than the
Tofurkey. It was. Like the Tofurkey, the basic pseudo-bird is made of
seitan, wheat gluten protein. Like the Tofurkey it was wrapped in
yuba, soy milk skin. In short, it was similar in ingredients and
basic concept.

In actuality, however, the UnTurkey was much much better than the
Tofurkey. I basted my UnTurkey with some soy sauce to enhance the
flavor, and, since i'm not a vegan, real butter. The yuba skin on the
UnTurkey was very thin and got nice and crispy - whereas the
Tofurkey's was thick and tough. The UnTurkey was sprinkled with herbs
and seasonings, so it had more flavor than the Tofurkey. While the
UnTurkey's stuffing wasn't as good as homemade, it was much much
better than the goo that was in the Tofurkey. It even had chunks of
celery and carrot and tasted of a mixture of herbs, unlike the
Tofurkey stuffing-glop that tasted primarily of sage.

It came with a container of gravy, some damp spongy stuff like the
Tofurkey "Giblet" Gravy. I heated it in a microwave. Like the
Tofurkey gravy, i had to put a little elbow grease into it, but it
did get soft much more quickly and with less effort. It wasn't like
real gravy - and i think the Tofurkey gravy tasted better - but it
was acceptable, if a bit thick.

So while UnTurkey is no replacement for a tender, juicy, flavorful
roast turkey with good home made stuffing and fresh gravy, it was
tolerable, and a durn sight better than the Tofurkey.

After my Tofurkey Report, Master Adamantius asked why would people
bother to make these things and why would people want them.

I'm no vegan, and i'm not even a vegetarian any more. But when i was
a vegetarian i did NOT want my chief protein sources to be fake-meat
substitutes. I hated the fake hot dogs i bought once because they
tasted too much like actual hot dogs for me. When i made my own meals
i didn't cook dishes that were like meat dishes - well, ok, so i made
moussaka with ground soy stuff and made taco filling with it, but i
didn't want it to taste like meat, and it didn't. I made a wide
variety of foods from a wide variety of cultures and seasoned it all
well - i've never understood when people have complained, "Vegetarian
food is bland". It only means that whoever was cooking just didn't
season it well.

When i went to my parents' house for the holidays, i ate what i could
and passed on the turkey and i was content. But i can understand why
some vegetarians or vegans might long for a holiday meal that reminds
them of what they used to eat with their family when they were a kid
- or at least, when they were still an omnivore.

One of these "turkey substitutes" might be good for vegetarians
nostalgic for the old family meal. And it might be good for omnivores
feeding several vegetarians or vegans at a holiday meal. If anyone on
this list finds themselves in this sort of situation, and really
wants something that vaguely resembles turkey, i recommend the
"UnTurkey", which, i'm given to understand from the label, is
available for sale around the US.

If you desperately want one and can't find one near you, you can visit:
http://www.nowandzen.net

If all you can find is the Tofurkey... well, it will need a lot of
help - like, thaw it out, cut into it and remove the paste they call
stuffing and refill it with your own. Make a marinade with a nice
array of seasonings for it. And let me know what you think of the
"tempeh drumsticks" and the "tofurkey jerky wish stix" (fake
wishbones). I bought the little one and it didn't have either - and i
think i'm glad.

Anahita
who has quite a few more days of "UnTurkey" to eat