[Sca-cooks] Chickpeas, was Duh

[Phil Troy/ G. Tacitus Adamantius]

Also sprach Phlip:
>Ene bichizh ogsen baina shuu...
>
>>  Oh, and I apparently cooked part of Craig Claiborne's last meal on
>>  this earth (but, as far as I know, did not kill him). Am I famous?
>>
>>  Adamantius
>
>Haven't heard THAT story- do tell?
>
>Phlip, student to a KILLER Laurel ;-)

Assuming best W.C. Fields raconteur voice...

There's very little to tell, my little peach blossom... My first job 
out of restaurant school was in an up-and-coming Provencale 
establishment called La Colombe d'Or, where the chef, a Can-Tuckay 
fella named Mark May, had professional and social aspirations... he 
being married to the fragile flower of the Gridley fortune, whose 
ancestor fired when ready...

May came to me and said, "Phil, my boy," says he, "Phil, my boy, I 
want you to help cook a fundraiser dinner for Craig Claiborne." He 
went on to tell me his proposed menu, which was more based on 1950's 
French haute cuisine than on anything current or anything Provencale, 
and, as such, we agreed it was perfect for Craig Claiborne. Much 
mention was made of brandade de morue toned down in respect to garlic 
for the target audience, and May himself prepared a truly memorable, 
if not gustatorially successful, civey of venison...

On the fateful evening, we hustled and we bustled, and noted that the 
busboys were bringing back a few nearly untouched plates, but this 
was compensated for by quite a few very empty bottles... yaaassss... 
rumor had it that Mr. Claiborne had excused himself from the 
proceedings early on, for a refreshing little nap in the civey...

Eventually the All Clear whistle was blown, and it was announced that 
the Great Man hisself had been successfully poured into a taximetered 
Conestoga, manned by a well-bribed driver with written directions...

The next morning we  learned that Claiborne had passed on to his 
Eternal Reward, presumably that Bar From Which No Traveller Returns. 
No mention was made in the news media of the deadly civey of venison, 
and the world mourned the loss of so great a luminary that it took a 
bad case of Natural Causes to remove him from us... yaaasss...

Okay, so the above is in dubious taste, but those basically are the 
facts. Like a lot of very famous personalities in the restaurant and 
food journalism world, Claiborne was a very flawed gentleman who 
achieved things nobody else had, till he came along. Similarly, my 
experience with Julia Child as a slightly hunchbacked giantess whose 
character seemed made up of equal parts grape-induced whimsy and 
shockingly open displays of homophobia, does not negate her 
achievements, it merely demonstrates that nobody's perfect and that 
there's more than one side to everybody.

Craig Claiborne used to annoy me greatly, chiefly in his evident lack 
of respect and sympathy for the cultures he raided for dishes to 
present to the American people in his search for the ultimate in Cute 
Cuisine. But, to be fair, he's one of the maybe 10 influential 
professionals who lifted American cookery out of a pit of gray, gluey 
gravy in the 1950's, 60's, and 70's.

And I did NOT kill him. Well, probably not... even though he did eat 
my brandade.

Adamantius