[Sca-cooks] food blues for master A

[Phil Troy / G. Tacitus Adamantius]

Also sprach Heleen Greenwald:
>Is this it?
>FOOD BLUES

As I said, this is very close to what I remember; extremely minor 
details, like the name of the restaurant, ravioli not being in a 
bowl, etc., are different. Just imagine the fidelity to the canonical 
text had it been sung by Sinatra:

"I was waiting in Rosalie's Cafe
When the waiter came up and said, 'What would you like
To eat?' I looked at the menu -- it looked pretty fine
Till he told me, 'Let me give you a piece of advice'."

But I thought the sentiments were extremely apropos for the original 
thread of "What's left to eat?"

Adamantius (who used to advise G-d to take Sinatra and give us back 
Gleason, Kaye, Astaire, etc.)

>
>I was waitin' in Rosie's Restaurant
>When the waiter came up and said, "What do you want?"
>I looked at the menu -- it looked so nice
>Till he said, "Let me give you some advice"
>He said, "Spaghetti and potatoes got too much starch,
>Pork chops and sausage are bad for your heart.
>There's hormones in chicken and beef and veal.
>Bowl of ravioli is a dead man's meal.
>Bread got preservatives, there's nitrites in ham,
>Artificial coloring in jellies and jam.
>Stay away from donuts. Run away from pie.
>Pepperoni pizza is a sure way to die.
>Sugar rots your teeth and make you put on weight.
>But artificial sweetener's got cyclamates.
>Eggs got cholesterol. There's fat in cheese.
>Coffee ruins your kidneys, and so does tea.
>Fish got mercury. Red meat is poison.
>Salt's gonna send your blood pressure risin'.
>Hot dogs and bologna got deadly red dyes.
>Vegetables and fruits are sprayed with pesticides."
>
>So I said, "What can I eat that's gonna make me last?"
>He said, "A small drink of water in a sterilized glass."
>And then he stopped and he thought for a minute,
>And said, "Never mind the water -- there's carcinogenics in it."
>So I got up from the table and walked out in the street
>Realizing there was nothing I could eat.
>I ain't eaten for a month, and I'm feeling fine...
>'Cause he did not mention
>Beer, whiskey, women and sweet red wine
>
>
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