[Sca-cooks] for Duriel :-)

[Laura C. Minnick]

M: (Knock)
A:   Come in.
M:   Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?
A:   I told you once.
M:   No you haven't.
A:   Yes I have.
M:   When?
A:    Just now.
M:   No you didn't.
A:   Yes I did.
M:  You didn't
A:   I did!
M:  You didn't!
A:   I'm telling you I did!
M:  You did not!!
A:   Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the 
full half hour?
M:  Oh, just the five minutes.
A:   Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
M:  You most certainly did not.
A:   Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
M:  No you did not.
A:   Yes I did.
M:   No you didn't.
A:   Yes I did.
M:   No you didn't.
A:   Yes I did.
M:   No you didn't.
A:   Yes I did.
M:  You didn't.
A:   Did.
M:  Oh look, this isn't an argument.
A:   Yes it is.
M:   No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
A:   No it isn't.
M:  It is!
A:   It is not.
M:  Look, you just contradicted me.
A:   I did not.
M:  Oh you did!!
A:   No, no, no.
M:  You did just then.
A:   Nonsense!
M:  Oh, this is futile!
A:   No it isn't.
M:  I came here for a good argument.
A:   No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
M:  An argument isn't just contradiction.
A:   It can be.
M:  No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended 
to establish a proposition.
A:   No it isn't.
M:  Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
A:   Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
M:  Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
A:   Yes it is!
M:   No it isn't!

A:   Yes it is!
M:  Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the 
automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
A:  No it isn't.
M:  It is.
A:  Not at all.
M:  Now look.
A: (Rings bell)  Good Morning.
M:  What?
A:   That's it. Good morning.
M:   I was just getting interested.
A:   Sorry, the five minutes is up.
M:  That was never five minutes!
A:   I'm afraid it was.
M:  It wasn't.
Pause
A:   I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
M:  What?!
A:   If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five 
minutes.
M:  Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!
A:  (Hums)
M:  Look, this is ridiculous.
A:   I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M:  Oh, all right.
(pays money)
A:   Thank you.
short pause
M:  Well?
A:   Well what?
M:   That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
A:    I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
M:   I just paid!
A:   No you didn't.
M:   I DID!
A:   No you didn't.
M:  Look, I don't want to argue about that.
A:  Well, you didn't pay.
M:  Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
A:   No you haven't.
M:  Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
A:   Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
M:  Oh I've had enough of this.
A:   No you haven't.
M:  Oh Shut up.

It's really only funny on the TV, Duriel. Incessant contention on the list 
just ticks people off. And besides, I didn't pay for an argument. A change 
of tactics is in order.

'Lainie
___________________________________________________________________________
"It is our choices Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our 
abilities."  -Albus Dumbledore