[Sca-cooks] Creative Profanity

[Robert Downie]

Michael Gunter wrote:

>
>Chef profanity....ah Gareth Blackstock, how we miss thee.
>
>If you haven't seen the BBC's "Chef!" then you must go out and buy
>the DVD's. Brilliant show.  I've been trying to find some kind of 
>transcripts
>of his florid rants.
>
Ooh, I _love_ that show :-)

There's some transcription of rants here:
http://www.tvheaven.ca/chef.htm

"Let me explain the order of things for you. There's the aristocracy, 
the upper class, middle class, working class, dumb animals, waiters, 
creeping things, head lice, people who eat packet soup, and then you."

"Piers- go away and rearrange this plate so that someone in the later 
stages of malnutrition will take a passing interest in it."

Not pleased with the cleanliness of Everton's area: " Everton, please 
remove the maggots, rat carcasses and corpses of shocked health 
inspectors and make the place fit for the preparation of sodding food..."

" The only reason we don't have cockroaches is because they couldn't 
stand the squalor. I would, and I speak with unrivalled honesty, rather 
work at the local rubbish dump with plumbed in raw sewage than in this 
shit heap. What are you all pointing at?" I rather think it's the heath 
and safety officer!

There's also another more complete collection of quotes from "Chef!" here:
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0108723/quotes

Faerisa