[Sca-cooks] More on Schmoos

[Michael Gunter]

I checked out "Schmoo" on www.wikipedia.org and this was
just too good not to post.

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A shmoo is a fictional cartoon creature, created and first drawn by
the cartoonist Al Capp in his newspaper comic strip Li'l Abner. The
shmoo is shaped like a plump bowling pin with legs, but no arms. They
reproduce asexually, and are very prolific. They require no sustenance
of any kind.

Shmoos are delicious, and are so eager to be eaten that if they are looked
at by someone who is hungry they will gladly jump into a frying pan, after
which it tastes like chicken, or into a roasting pan, after which it tastes 
like
beef. They also produce eggs, milk, and butter (no churning labor needed.)
Their fresh pelt is a perfect boot leather, or house timber depending on how
thick it has been cut. Their eyes are ideal suspender buttons, and their 
whiskers
are perfect toothpicks. Naturally gentle, they require minimal care, and are 
ideal
playmates for young children. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of
a subsistence agricultural herd animal.

The frolicking of shmoos is so entertaining that people watching them feel 
no
need to go to movies or turn on television to relieve their boredom.

Because of these facts, the leaders of government and big business spend 
great
amounts of energy trying to exterminate the shmoo as a dangerous threat to
civilization as we know it.

A small colony of shmoos live in the Valley of the Shmoon near Dogpatch; 
some
occasionally escape, causing havoc.

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And this is why our little white ferret, who loved to eat and
sleep and kind of got that bowling pin shape, was called our schmoo.

Gunthar