[Sca-cooks] food manners, from the blog Tigers & Strawberries.

Adele de Maisieres ladyadele at paradise.net.nz
Wed Nov 1 13:54:24 PST 2006

Jadwiga Zajaczkowa / Jenne Heise wrote:

>Rule Number One of Barbara.s Table Manners is simple.within reason, eat 
>what you are offered, and do so graciously, even if it tastes like ass. 
Or at least eat a little of it, if it's on your plate. 

>This is the big rule that was drummed into my head from early childhood 
>on: if you are offered food in someone else.s home, it is rude to turn 
>it down. 
Depends.  Refusing everything is rude.  Eating the roast chicken, 
potatoes, carrots, corn, salad, yorkshire pudding, stuffing, and gravy 
but saying "no, thank you" to the brussels sprouts is not. 

>Because when someone cooks something for you, it is an expression of 
>love and fellowship, and such an expression should never be spurned, 
>because that is akin to spitting in someone.s face.
This is a little over the top.  I cook.  I feed people.  I'm prepared to 
accept that everyone doesn't like everything no matter who cooks it or how.

>Barbara.s Second Rule is a corollary to the first rule: in order to be a 
>good host, make every effort to know what your guests do and do not like 
>and can and cannot eat; in order to be a good guest, make your dietary 
>needs known to your host ahead of time politely and remember that there 
>is a difference between what you cannot eat and what you will not eat. 
Oh, if only everyone who went to feasts understood the difference 
between what they can't eat and what they merely don't like.

>For hosts, I say this: if you have vegetarians dining with you, please 
>do not cook vegetables with meat and call them vegetables. It is not 
>cute, clever or compassionate to do so. It is rude. 
And apart from being rude, it's a very strange thing to do.

>Barbara.s Third Rule is a corollary of the First and Second Rules: 
>please do not make ugly faces, icky noises or derisive comments about 
>other people.s food.
Especially if you are over the age of four.

>Rule Number Four is not related necessarily to the other three rules, 
>but it is very important nonetheless. When one is out at a restaurant, 
>please treat your servers as human beings, because that is bloody well 
>what they are. They are not there to be your personal emotional punching 
>bags. They work hard doing a physically, emotionally and mentally 
>demanding job in order to make a living wage, so please don.t make their 
>life worse by acting like an arrogant ass with a sense of entitlement.
And while you're at it, be nice to _everyone_ who does menial work.  
They are working for your enjoyment and often for some pretty unenviable 

>And never ever say some stupid crap like, .The restaurant should pay the 
>servers a living wage so that I don.t have to tip,. and then use that as 
>an excuse not to leave a tip, because that is a crass bullshit excuse to 
>just be a tightwad.
I utterly agree with the sentiment.  The whole idea that people should 
be paid inadequately and the shortfall made up in "tips" is insane.  If 
you live in a place where this is the norm, the way to handle it is to 
leave a proper tip (there is no reason to make your server suffer for 
your beliefs) and write to your Congressperson/Member of Parliament/etc. 
about the issue when you get home.

Adele de Maisieres

Habeo metrum - musicamque,
hominem meam. Expectat alium quid?
-Georgeus Gershwinus

More information about the Sca-cooks mailing list