[Sca-cooks] food manners, from the blog Tigers & Strawberries.

[Adele de Maisieres]

Jadwiga Zajaczkowa / Jenne Heise wrote:

>Rule Number One of Barbara.s Table Manners is simple.within reason, eat 
>what you are offered, and do so graciously, even if it tastes like ass. 
>  
>
Or at least eat a little of it, if it's on your plate. 

>This is the big rule that was drummed into my head from early childhood 
>on: if you are offered food in someone else.s home, it is rude to turn 
>it down. 
>
Depends.  Refusing everything is rude.  Eating the roast chicken, 
potatoes, carrots, corn, salad, yorkshire pudding, stuffing, and gravy 
but saying "no, thank you" to the brussels sprouts is not. 

>Because when someone cooks something for you, it is an expression of 
>love and fellowship, and such an expression should never be spurned, 
>because that is akin to spitting in someone.s face.
>  
>
This is a little over the top.  I cook.  I feed people.  I'm prepared to 
accept that everyone doesn't like everything no matter who cooks it or how.

>Barbara.s Second Rule is a corollary to the first rule: in order to be a 
>good host, make every effort to know what your guests do and do not like 
>and can and cannot eat; in order to be a good guest, make your dietary 
>needs known to your host ahead of time politely and remember that there 
>is a difference between what you cannot eat and what you will not eat. 
>
Oh, if only everyone who went to feasts understood the difference 
between what they can't eat and what they merely don't like.

>For hosts, I say this: if you have vegetarians dining with you, please 
>do not cook vegetables with meat and call them vegetables. It is not 
>cute, clever or compassionate to do so. It is rude. 
>
And apart from being rude, it's a very strange thing to do.

>Barbara.s Third Rule is a corollary of the First and Second Rules: 
>please do not make ugly faces, icky noises or derisive comments about 
>other people.s food.
>
Especially if you are over the age of four.

>Rule Number Four is not related necessarily to the other three rules, 
>but it is very important nonetheless. When one is out at a restaurant, 
>please treat your servers as human beings, because that is bloody well 
>what they are. They are not there to be your personal emotional punching 
>bags. They work hard doing a physically, emotionally and mentally 
>demanding job in order to make a living wage, so please don.t make their 
>life worse by acting like an arrogant ass with a sense of entitlement.
>  
>
And while you're at it, be nice to _everyone_ who does menial work.  
They are working for your enjoyment and often for some pretty unenviable 
wages.

>And never ever say some stupid crap like, .The restaurant should pay the 
>servers a living wage so that I don.t have to tip,. and then use that as 
>an excuse not to leave a tip, because that is a crass bullshit excuse to 
>just be a tightwad.
>  
>
I utterly agree with the sentiment.  The whole idea that people should 
be paid inadequately and the shortfall made up in "tips" is insane.  If 
you live in a place where this is the norm, the way to handle it is to 
leave a proper tip (there is no reason to make your server suffer for 
your beliefs) and write to your Congressperson/Member of Parliament/etc. 
about the issue when you get home.


-- 
Adele de Maisieres

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Habeo metrum - musicamque,
hominem meam. Expectat alium quid?
-Georgeus Gershwinus
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