[Sca-cooks] OT: Health Mythology

[Tom Vincent]

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth
and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then, using God's greatest gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
Ice Cream and Krispy Cream donuts. And Satan said, "Do
you want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and
woman said "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."
And they gained 10 pounds and Satan smiled.
And God created healthful yogurt that Woman might keep her
figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour
from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
And God said, "Try my fresh green salad," And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on
the side. And Man And Woman unfastened their belts following the
repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive
oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fat fried fish
and chicken-fried steak, so big it needed its own platter. And Man
gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God created a light, fluffy white cake, named "Angel Food Cake,"
And said "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and called
it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose
those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with remote control so
Man would not have to toil chancing the channel.  And Man and
Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained
pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy center into chips and deep fried then. And Man and Woman
gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories
and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and it's
99-cent double cheese burger then said, "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It
is good." And Man went into cardiac Arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMO's.