[Sca-cooks] Jules/Catalina's Book, good bye

Olwen the Odd olwentheodd at hotmail.com
Thu Oct 25 08:31:42 PDT 2007

I suspect that anyone writing just to this list and not to Jules personal email address is probably wasting their time.  According to her, she was going to cut ties pretty much just afer she sent the email.  I would, of course, be sad to see that happen, but as one who has social interaction problems myself I know what she meant by being hurt easily by things said that are not exactly the demons we tend to take them for.  Euriol is correct in that sometimes we forget there is an actual person on the other end of the screen whos face we cannot see as they read the words.  Sometimes we are not even in on the running subject but just seeing what we think is someone else being hurt will hit the trigger.  True enough many will respond with the "OMG how funny!" but few of us would respond with "cripes, now I feel like a worm and all I wanted was to share some information".  The reasoning is multipule-fold, but one of the first that comes to my mind is that is someone responds with "OMG how funny" then everyone just reads that and moves on.  If someone reads "now I feel like a worm" or "my feelings are hurt and I want to cry" then everyone on this list feels like they need to jump on the bandwagon with their immediate response of something like "well, no one meant anything bad" or "get over it" or "go fix yourself" which, in turn, makes the person feel even more bad.
OK, I'm done.  Rip it up.  I think I'm ready.
> Subject: Re: [Sca-cooks] Jules/Catalina's Book, good bye> > I would echo Dame Selene's comments. My eldest son was diagnosed with> Aspbergers a few years ago. Knowing what is going on is the hardest part of> the battle. Now he has had the chance to learn how to adapt. Fortunately for> me, he loves being in the kitchen and has a goal to become a professional> Chef as his career choice.> > One of the huge unfortunate results of the Internet, is that people don't> take the time to consider what they are typing to another. They often say> mean and hurtful things that they would not say to a persons face. It is> often forgotten that there is a living, breathing person with feelings on> the other end of the wire reading the email.> > I wish you the greatest look with your books, I will endeavor to get myself> copies. Which, since I'm new to this list, could someone tell me?> > Euriol> > Euriol of Lothian, OP> Minister of Arts & Sciences, Barony of Endless Hills> Clerk, Order of the Pelican, Kingdom of Æthelmearc> > "I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was> service. I acted and behold, service was joy."> -Robindranath Tagore, Poet/Playwright/Essayist 1913 Nobel Prize for> Literature> > -----Original Message-----> From: sca-cooks-bounces at lists.ansteorra.org> [mailto:sca-cooks-bounces at lists.ansteorra.org] On Behalf Of Susan Fox> Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 10:34 AM> To: Cooks within the SCA> Subject: Re: [Sca-cooks] Jules/Catalina's Book, good bye> > That's great!> > OK, that sounds strange, but having a real diagnosis means that you have > something to tell people who call you names when you behave > differently. And if anybody else gives you trouble, those of us who > understand the issue can clobber them with the truth. > > Autism is not a barrier to life in the SCA. I have a young friend with > Aspergers whose special qualities we have learned to appreciate. He is > just the best water-bearer ever and if anybody goes thirsty at a feast, > it's their own damn fault because Samuel was on the job!> > I hope you will reconsider and stay with the SCA. In any case, keep in > touch so we can all buy your books when they come out.> > Sincerely,> Susan Fox / Dame Selene Colfox, Caid> selene at earthlink.net> > > > Jules A Hojnowski wrote:> > With a great and very heavy heart,> > I had to write one last e-mail,> > I recently found out I have a form of Autism.> > This means that any social aspects are extremely> > difficult for me. I try my best to help and send> > when to me seems like a 'good' e-mail reply> > and then find out that people are offended> > because the part of my brain that would have made me> > 'normal' does not work. And because it does not work> > like everyone else's the replies I receive hurt my feeling a great deal,> > giving me the impression that people are trying to beat me over the head> > with telling me I am dumb and stupid and a waste of time, causing me> > to feel very depressed. I don't have the 'common sense' or 'common> > courtesy that I was told that I need to have. sigh... I do the best I> can,> > but it seems that it is not good enough.> >> > So I have decided to make my life much easier and much less frustrated> > and much less depressed, I'll not reply to anymore SCA e-mails.> >> >> > Good luck to all of you,> > I won't be reading or responding to SCA e-mails as it will only> > make me more depressed. I have sold all my Thrown weapons> > and am slowly getting rid of my SCA cooking stuff. sigh..> > It's the only way I know to not get e-mails that make me feel terrible.> >> > Jules/Mistress Catalina> >> > ps when I do publish the old cookbooks, they will have redactions with> them> >> > > > _______________________________________________> Sca-cooks mailing list> Sca-cooks at lists.ansteorra.org> http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/sca-cooks-ansteorra.org> > _______________________________________________> Sca-cooks mailing list> Sca-cooks at lists.ansteorra.org> http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/sca-cooks-ansteorra.org
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