[Sca-cooks] Brightening up the Holiday Season with a little Surrealism...

[Cheri or Anne]

I too would like to know the name of the place that sells them as I'm interested in purchasing some.  Haven't come across any since moving up here, that'd be 10 years now!
 
Anne

Go softly and gently for those you meet here will be
those you know hereafter."

--- On Tue, 12/16/08, Phil Troy / G. Tacitus Adamantius <adamantius1 at verizon.net> wrote:

From: Phil Troy / G. Tacitus Adamantius <adamantius1 at verizon.net>
Subject: [Sca-cooks] Brightening up the Holiday Season with a little Surrealism...
To: "Cooks within the SCA" <sca-cooks at lists.ansteorra.org>
Date: Tuesday, December 16, 2008, 10:59 PM

Hullo, the list!

So here I am, having sent out some food gifts to family for the various
holidays via Internet-initiated shipments... I did make a lot of food gifts, but
for some long-distance people I simply had some things shipped directly from
various vendors.

Of course, fruit baskets aren't really my thing (if the fruit were really
good, it would be too delicate to ship that way), and those weird little
assortments with the little block of soaplike cheese, sour-tasting,
overly-ground sausage, and packets of really small crackers aren't much
better.

I finally opted for items from a place that cures and smokes hams and related
products (and sells them online), and in a moment of inspiration bordering on
madness, one of the New-Jersey-based Scottish bakeries that sell things like
meat pies, Forfar Bridies, sausage rolls, etc.

I mean, what are the odds of another party giving a duplicate gift? "Oh,
drat, ANOTHER box of pub meat pies! That's the third one in two days!"

I just received an e-mail from my nephew, affecting to angrily accuse me of
being the party responsible for an unmarked, unidentified, unpedigreed and
semi-provenance-free box of meat pies, bridies and sausage rolls delivered by
UPS magically on their doorstep. He said the local office of the Department of
Homeland Security was called in, and it was determined that while it was indeed
a box of pub-style meat pies, it could not in fact be classified as an act of
terrorism in the strictest sense, or even a public health hazard, and hunting
down the evildoer responsible would cost a lot of taxpayer funds, so it would be
better to simply eat the pies and let it go...

But, he said, he knew perfectly well who was responsible, I shouldn't
bother trying to deny it, and some day I'd get what's coming to me ;-) .

That's okay. He thinks he's got it bad? His father and mother got their
very own haggis. And if they want to complain, I can only say that it could have
been worse. They got the small size. If they want to play rough, I could have
sent them the five-pound presentation size! They can't intimidate me!!!

Adamantius (wondering, with amused anticipation, what form any acts of
vengeance might take -- I've already been threatened with haakarl once
today)




"Most men worry about their own bellies, and other people's souls,
when we all ought to worry about our own souls, and other people's
bellies."
			-- Rabbi Israel Salanter

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