[Sca-cooks] OT, OOP, not truly food-related, but...
Phil Troy / G. Tacitus Adamantius
adamantius1 at verizon.net
Sun Nov 30 07:43:18 PST 2008
It's possible some here may be interested to hear that I just awakened
from a nightmare of sorts in which Gordon Ramsay and a squadron of
sous-chef/assassins are trying to kill me.
High speed car chases, flying bullets (silenced nine-millimeters
appear to have been the weapon of choice) and everything... I don't
remember why they wanted to kill me; I think maybe they needed an
appropriately-sized male stiff in order to fake someone else's death
[see Gregory McDonald's novel, "Fletch"], but I could have filled in
that particular blank upon waking. I also think it's possible I was a
cast member on a series of "Hell's Kitchen" or some such thing --
there were other innocent cooks involved that were more or less on my
side, but then Ramsay wasn't plotting to murder _them_, so they could
afford to be sympathetic.
I definitely recall talking to Ramsay, being invited into his home to
cook with him, and getting into a discussion on Robert Louis Stevenson
while making noisette butter. It was foaming in the pan as we watched,
you see and I sort of unconsciously murmured, " 'Late one accursed
night, I compounded the elements, watched them boil and smoke together
in the glass, and when the ebullition had subsided...' " I'll bet
nobody here knew Ramsay's favorite author was fellow Scot Stevenson...
but I do. He told me so himself. Right before attempting to shoot me
between the eyes.
Maybe he's really an H.G. Wells fan and only _pretended_ to like
Stevenson so I'd be off my guard?
I am prepared to bet that I'm the only kid on the block to have had
this experience in the past 24 hours...
"Most men worry about their own bellies, and other people's souls,
when we all ought to worry about our own souls, and other people's
-- Rabbi Israel Salanter
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