[Sca-cooks] Largesse: What to avoid.
judith at ipstenu.org
Mon Aug 10 08:58:19 PDT 2009
On Aug 10, 2009, at 10:40 AM, Michael Gunter wrote:
> I think it depends on what you mean by largess.
> Are you making gift baskets or items to be given to the
> Crown to use Themselves or for Them to give out?
> BIG difference there.
I was talking about an item for an individual to give to another
individual. When the item is supposed to be donated to a largesse
"pool" to be re-gifted by royals or nobles to others willy-nilly, I
think even more caution is warranted, especially in the food category
and the religious item category. It's a pretty horrid offense not to
accept something given from the heart, like largesse, but for some
it's just as bad to accept the gift and have others see you accepting
it. (Yes, I'm thinking of myself, here -- I couldn't accept a rosary,
no matter how nicely offered, because I'm not religiously permitted to
accept that type of thing. But because it's considered such a breach
of etiquette to refuse a gift, I'd be stuck looking very rude, because
I would give precedence to my religious principles over SCA etiquette.
A person who has particularly severe allergies might be in the same
position, with regard to largesse of foods.
I know very well that those who offer largesse are trying to convey
gratitude, warmth, welcome, and appreciation. They're doing out of
kindness and magnanimity, and wouldn't dream of offering something
that could place someone (like me, but not limited to me) in a very
uncomfortable or socially untenable position. They wouldn't make a
gift that could be so problematic, if they only knew that it would be
such an issue for the recipient. I mention this in order to bring it
to attention that a gift of this nature could provide a great social
stumbling block for someone whose religious or health issues could
very well require them to refuse such a gift.
Judith / no SCA name yet
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