[Sca-cooks] Fwd: The Chef - from ‘The Lost Canterbury Tales’

[Laura C Minnick]

This is too good not to pass on...

Liutgard



-------- Forwarded Message --------
Subject: 	The Chef - from ‘The Lost Canterbury Tales’
Date: 	Mon, 2 Apr 2018 00:56:38 +0000
From: 	Paul Freeman <00002a341e23ac01-dmarc-request at LISTSERV.UIC.EDU>
Reply-To: 	Paul Freeman <apaulfreeman at yahoo.co.uk>
To: 	CHAUCER at LISTSERV.UIC.EDU



Good morning Chaucerians

I was stuck for a poetry entry for a competition last week so wrote the 
poem below to the 40-line maximum'. You should recognise who it's about. 
Hope you enjoy it:


*The Chef - from /‘The Lost Canterbury Tales’/*


A Chef there was, clept Gordon, who had soared

to prominence, and had a voice that roared

more loudly than a trans-Atlantic gale.

Perfection was his culinary Grail,

and if, perchance, an underling fell short,

their pleadings and excuses came to naught;

for those not gastronomically inspired,

he duly shamed, then summarily fired.

>From Michelin he’d garnered several stars

for grand cuisine, yet served not deep fried bars (10)

of chocolate in his eateries, a food

on which his fellow Scotsmen often chewed.

Quod Gordon: “I would rather eat a turd

than graze on what sustains the common herd.

Crisp vegetables and sundry fruits are best,

with relish and exotic sauces dressed.”

And likewise he was critical of wealth,

that fostered ’mongst the well-to-do ill health;

for diets of the rich contained much meat,

promoting clogged up arteries, and feet (20)

made swollen by the ravages of gout,

and bodies that grew steadily more stout.

Blond-haired and craggy-featured, Gordon spoke

in coarsest terms - as might the rudest folk -

which cleaved him to the average person’s heart.

This set him from most other chefs apart,

since unlike chefs of old who piled on weight

by scoffing every morsel on their plate,

his moderation kept his body fit,

maintaining, too, his sharp and biting wit. (30)

/Hell’s Kitchen/was his eatery of fame,

and with expletive-ridden rants he’d blame

apprentices for mishaps and might shout

for instance: “This is fucking raw! Get out!”

He also toured the shires to test the fare

of nightmare inns, where landlords would beware;

for if instead of ‘Chef’, they called him ‘Cook’,

he’d hang their genitalia from a hook.

Thus ends my sketch of Gordon, who, though crude,

with gastronomic talent was imbued.  (40)

(Paul A. Freeman)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Website: www.paulfreeman.weebly.com <http://www.paulfreeman.weebly.com/>
Read a sample of my work from Everyday Fiction:

http://everydayfiction.com/happy-dependence-day-by-paul-a-freeman/

Read my top five story from the /National /newspaper's annual short 
story competition:

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness
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