[Southern] Pandybat at Festival of Fools

Melissa Baxter mbaxter66 at satx.rr.com
Fri Mar 23 17:56:48 PDT 2007

In case any of you have questions about the pandybat competition at the
upcoming Bjornsborg Festival of Fools, here's some info:

The pandybat is a weapon whose wielding is as likely as not to result in the
demise of the wielder rather than the opponent. Weapons must meet safety
standards, i.e. striking and thrusting and thrusting surfaces must be safe
according to the normal marshallate rules. Other than that, the sillier the
better. (This is a Fools event, after all.) Since really good pandybats
never actually hit anything, safety is not usually a big concern.

The tournament will be a challenge format; prizes will be awarded to the
victor as well as the wielder of the finest pandybat (who will, by
definition, be unlikely to win the tourney). Group entries are allowed; if
your pandybat is of sufficient quality (sic), it should be possible for a
four-man team to lose to a single opponent. 

Here are a few general classes of pandybats...

Thrusting pandybats: have included the thrusting crutch, thrusting
breastplate, thrusting helm, and thrusting codpiece. Where can you put a
thrusting tip to make it most comical and least effective?

Modified weapons you may already have: like the "turnpike", two normal pikes
(with butt spikes) lashed together and wielded by a four-man team like a
revolving door; or the "repeating spear" wielded slingshot-like through a
tube tethered onto the wielder's hand. How about Florentine shields?

Culture-specific: the "whirling dervish blade", a modified hula hoop
(surprisingly effective), the "pandy bolo" made from duct-tape covered
tennis balls, or the "French tickler", which I am going to leave to your

Pun-ishing weaponry: "turnpike", "shield hook", "(can of) mace", "butt
spike", "broadsword", etc. Don't ignore siege weapons like "battering ram"
and "catapult" (not to be confused with the hand-held weapons, the kat-ana
and the moggy-nada).

Implements of war: there is a long and honorable (sic) tradition of turning
almost anything into a pandybat by adding the word "war" in front of it,
like the "war spoon" and the "war sofa" (honest, three guys pushing an old
sofa, one of whose arms was duct taped red and turned into a giant thrusting

Most fighters have had an idea for a weapon that they knew the marshals
would never go for. Here's your chance! 

You should be prepared to present your weapon and explain its function to
your potential opponents. A herald will be on hand to assist you in
introducing your weapon to the populace at large.

Some of the rich history of the form can be learned here:  http://history.


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