[Steppes] SCA in the news. Not good news.

[Susan Hill]

For some reason I got this message and another both yesterday and today. 
Hotmail must be acting up again, but this message I have given a great deal 
more thought to than the other I received in duplicate.

Despite the family , honor, and chivalric feelings that this group we belong 
to gives us, it is still within the realms of the real world and in the SCA, 
as in our mundane lives, there is ugliness to be found if we look close 
enough. No matter how secure we feel within this group, it is still 
ultimately the role of the parents to teach and protect their children, and 
yet there is no way to protect them from every evil under the sun. You have 
a good start with your son. You have surrounded yourselves with a group of 
close people within this larger group that you have built relationships of 
trust with that you trust to watch and guide him. All the more eyes to keep 
on him and his safety, but it takes more than the vigilence of many eyes to 
protect a child from this kind of thing, and even if we did background 
checks on every person who ever worked with the children...and I do not 
really advocate this, there are still people who will get through, as the 
example you gave shows. I would suggest that parents get to know the people 
that take on these children's activities and participate with them rather 
than just dropping the kids off as so many of them do. If you watch and work 
with someone, they will show you their true colors soon enough. That's all 
it took to catch this guy was someone paying attention. The few times that I 
have actually witnessed organized children's activities at an event, the 
person who volunteered for that task was the only adult present. This is a 
set up for potential disaster. There should always be a minimum of two 
adults working with kids for the safety of both the kids and the adult. It's 
pretty hard for anyone to do anything creepy or for them to be accused 
falsely if there is another adult around.

As a parent, myself of a son, I began to talk to him openly and honestly 
about things in this world that aren't always so nice, including people he 
might meet that seem friendly, but do not have his best interests at heart. 
We have over the course of 13 years built a relationship of trust and 
honesty which I can only hope will lead him to come to me when someone says 
or does something to him which he feels is not right or is not comfortable 
with. I have had indications that he will do this from recent communications 
we have had, but I know that I can never be certain, especailly as he gets 
deeper into the teens when he, as part of growing up, wont feel as 
comfortable with some subjects with me.

The first SCA event I took Adam to was in An Tir...The Shire of Dragon's 
Mist Defender tourney. He insisted on having his own tent with the dog while 
my friend and I shared the other. In the morning, I was shocked to find that 
he had left his tent after I was asleep (or else he was very, very quiet) 
and had gone out into the encampment alone. He told me with light in his 
eyes about sitting around the Bardic Fire and the stories he had heard. Then 
he told about the fire dancer he had watched. He wandered on through out the 
camp and was befriended by some folk who invited him to join them and listen 
to the drums. One man talked to him quite a lot.  I will admit that i was 
not overly thrilled with this development, but I could not undo it. I had 
not said anything at this point, but had only listened and encouraged him to 
continue. To my great relief he said as he pointed to one part of the 
encampment..."Mom, I didnt go over there. There was too much drinking and 
craziness there." It was at that moment that I knew that I had could trust 
him to make wiser decisions than I realized. I did ask him not to go off 
again the next night without letting me know, but I did let him wander the 
camp again on his own, knowing roughly where he was and that if a certain 
amount of time had past, I would go looking for him.

You can arm your children with the knowledge and information. That is their 
best protection, along with a trusting relationship. Having all those other 
eyes and ears around is great, too. At some point, though you have to let 
them live their own lives, no matter how difficult it is. If I had gotten 
all upset and scolded my son, he would have decided that this SCA stuff was 
no fun and why chould he go if all he could do was stay in our camp and 
babysit the dog. As it is, even though he lives 2000 miles away, he wants to 
play and go to events here when he visits. He is looking forward to the day 
when he can play on his own in An Tir.



----Original Message Follows----
From: Greylond Aston <greylondaston at yahoo.com>
Reply-To: "Barony of Steppes - SCA, Inc." <steppes at ansteorra.org>
To: steppes at ansteorra.org
Subject: [Steppes] SCA in the news. Not good news.
Date: Sat, 1 Nov 2003 16:52:36 -0800 (PST)

Here is something that i just found.

A Minister of Children from the Kingdom of the East(I
think, but it is Weisenberg Township, PA mundanly) has
been arrested.

http://www.mcall.com/news/local/all-b1_5schragger-4oct30,0,7379260.story?col

First let me say that I know nothing beyond what is in
the story linked to above, but I'm looking for more
information. Also, I don't want to imply that I think
he is guilty or not. However, the danger is there and
the Society is getting pretty big. I don't think that
anyone we know and play with is a danger, but I'm
wondering.

What safeguards does Steppes and/or Elfsea have to
prevent something like this? For that matter the
Kingdom? What procedures are followed when approving a
MoC? What about people who are MoC for only one event?

I don't want to sound like a worry-wort or want the
Kingdom and Baronies to have to come up with even MORE
paperwork, but I think our children's safety should be
treated with due care. One of the things that Sara and
I love is being able to use the SCA as a family
activity. So far everyone involved has treated Andrew
very well and helped us look after him during events
and we would like to know that we can continue with
that feeling.

I think that it speaks highly of our local area that
there are several children that have practically grown
up in the Society and are treated like part of a big
extended family, but I believe we should be proactive
when it comes to these kinds of dangers. Also, if we
develop some kind of procedures to prevent this, even
is some kind of basic background check, we can show
mundane society that we do try to prevent it.



Greylond


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