WR - Re:Y2K Parody

[BrynMyrdus at aol.com]

In a message dated 99-03-19 03:18:51 EST, OYLER at powr.net writes:

<< I think you'll enjoy this.
 >
 >Subject:  Y2K Issue ??
 >TRANSLATED FROM A LATIN SCROLL DATED 2BC
 >Dear Cassius,
 >Are you still working on the Y zero K problem ?   This change from BC to AD
 >is giving a lot of headaches and we haven't much time left.  I don't know
 >how people will cope with working the wrong way round.  Having been working
 >happily downwards forever, we now have to start thinking upwards.
 > You would think that someone would have thought of it earlier and not left
 >it to us to sort out at this late minute.
 > I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius had not done
 >something about it when he was sorting out the calendar. he said he could
 >see why Brutus turned nasty.  We called in Consultus, but he simply said
 >that continuing downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a
 >fortune for doing nothing useful.
 >Surely we will not have to throw out all our hardware and start again?
 >Macrohard will make yet another fortune out of this, I suppose.
 >The moneylenders are paranoid of course.  They have been told that all
 usury
 >rates will invert and they will have to pay their clients to take out
 loans.
 >It's an ill wind...
 >As for myself, I just can't see the sand in an hourglass flowing upwards.
 >We have heard that there are 3 wise men in the east who have been working
 on
 >the problem, but unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over.
 >I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at midnight at the
 >turn of the year as there are fears that they will stop and try to run
 >backwards, causing immense damage to chariots and possible loss of life.
 >Some say the world will cease to exist at the moment of transition.
 >Anyway, we are still continuing to work on this blasted Y zero K problem. I
 >will send a parchment to you if anything further develops.  If you have any
 >ideas, please let me know,
 >Plutonius >>


My reply to that is as follows.
Joye McDonald
Shire of Mendersham


Y2K SOLUTION 
    Corporate has determined that there is no longer any need for network 
  or   software applications support.  (See below) 
  
    The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999.   
  Instead, everyone will be provided with an  Etch-A-Sketch. There are 
  many sound reasons for doing this: 
  
    1.      No Y2K problems 
    2.      No technical glitches keeping work from being done. 
    3.      No more wasted time reading and writing emails. 
  
    Thank you. 
  
   Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) for Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support: 
  
    Q:   My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the 
  screen. 
    A:   Pick it up and shake it. 
  
    Q:   How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? 
    A:   Pick it up and shake it. 
  
    Q:   What's the shortcut for Undo? 
    A:   Pick it up and shake it. 
  
    Q:   How do I create a New Document window? 
    A:   Pick it up and shake it. 
  
    Q:   How do I set the background and foreground to the same color? 
    A:   Pick it up and shake it. 
  
    Q:   What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch? 
    A:   Pick it up and shake it. 
  
    Q:   How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch? 
    A:   Pick it up and shake it. 
  
    Q:   How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document? 
    A:   Don't shake it. 


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