WR - Duct Tape

Jacque jacquelight at cableone.net
Wed Jun 7 13:29:23 PDT 2000

I received this and thought it was pretty funny:)


Article I

Duck Tape cannot fix everything.  I promise to refrain from trying to
fix the following things with Duck Tape:

   The National Debt
   The San Andreas Fault
   A Broken Heart

Article II

Duck Tape should not be forced on others.  Some people don't like Duck
Tape on their house, car, chairs, pants, shoes, gloves, tools,
televisions, pets, sports gear, and farm equipment, but that's their
problem.  I will learn to be more tolerant of these people and keep my
Duck Tape to myself.

Article III

Other forms of tape are probably still necessary, even with Duck Tape.
I am not sure for what, though.

Article IV

I should never exaggerate when telling my friends about my best Duck
Tape stories.  As a Duck Tape "Adhesive Solutions Engineer," my true
exploits are usually hard enough to believe, anyway.

Article V

There are some things that I should throw away, even with Duck Tape
around.  (I know that I may need to ask for help in identifying what
these things might be).

Article VI

When I forget to take my Duck Tape with me, it's okay...

Article VII

People that don't use Duck Tape aren't bad people -- they just don't
know any better.

Article VIII

Duck Tape is not all-powerful, although it has many of the same
attributes as the Force -- it has a light side, a dark side, and it
holds the whole universe together. ("May the Duck Tape be with you.")

Article IX

I will never misspell Duck Tape as duct tape...

Article X

It's okay to admit that I need Duck tape in my life -- in as many
colours, lengths, and widths as is possible -- because nobody is
perfect.  In other words, everyone can use a little Duck Tape now and

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