WR - FW: Darwin Awards..

Sat Sep 23 17:59:11 PDT 2000

Everyone should know what these are, so here are this 
year's edition.

Angus
----------------------  Forwarded Message:  ---------------------
From:    "Klinger, Warren:" <wklinger at tosco.com>
To:      "Perry, Stephanie:" <sperry at tosco.com>, "Cortez, Jason:" <jcortez1 at tosco.com>, "Johnson, Timothy:" <tjohnso2 at tosco.com>, "Epps, Jeremy:" <jepps at tosco.com>, "Robertson, David:" <droberts at tosco.com>, "'dasfrau at webtv.net'" <dasfrau at webtv.net>, "'AngusDuncan at att.net'" <AngusDuncan at att.net>, "'pakanugget at hotmail.com'" <pakanugget at hotmail.com>
Subject: FW: Darwin Awards..
Date:    Wed, 20 Sep 2000 11:05:03 -0700

> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Rivera, Carolyn A.: 
> Sent:	Wednesday, September 20, 2000 10:24 AM
> To:	McPeek, Shelley:; Klinger, Warren:
> Subject:	FW: Darwin Awards..
> 
> thought you would appreciate this...  
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> Subject:	FW: Darwin Awards..
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Darwin Awards 2000
>  Yes, the one we've all been waiting for... Darwin Awards 2000
>  They have finally been released! For those not familiar with the
> Darwin Award, It's an annual honour given to the person who provided the
>  Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting killed in
> the  most  extraordinarily stupid way.
> 
> As always, competition this year has been keen again. Some 
> candidates appear to have trained their whole lives for this event!
> 
> DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES
>  1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned
> in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide
> sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
> 
>  2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
> zoned when he ran," 
> according to his wife, accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on
> his daily run.
> 
> 3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he 
> had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beachgoers said Daniel
> Jones, 21 dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had  been
> sitting  in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
> collapsed,
> burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.  People on the beach, on the outer 
> banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a
> resident  of  Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue
> workers 
> using  heavy equipment almost an  hour to free him while about 200 people
> looked on.
> Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
> 
> 4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he
> fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarising.
> Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his 
> mouth (to keep  his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he
> hit the
> floor.
> 
> 5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20,
> was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 
> 23,  who  was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the
> flakvest 
> Berrena was wearing.
> 
> 6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr, 26, was killed in February in Selbyville,  Del,
> as he won a 
> bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
> bullets into his 
> mouth and pull the trigger.
> 
> 7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta,
> 27, and Randy Taylor, 33,
> died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in  the game of chicken
> they were playing with their snowmobiles.
> 
> 
> DARWIN AWARD HONOURABLE MENTIONS
> 
> 1. In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede
>  with a shot from his 22-calibre rifle, but the bullet ricocheted 
> off of a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head,
> fracturing
> his  skull.
> 
> 2. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
> cobwebs in his basement, 
> declined to use a broom in favour of a propane  torch and caused a fire
> that burned the first and second floors of
> his  house.
> 
> 3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalised in Andover Township, NJ, in
> September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a quarter-stick
> of  dynamite that blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the
> bored
> couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what
> would
> happen,  but they apparently failed to notice that the window was closed.
> 
> TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with several friends
> when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the
> Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
> heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge 
> at  4:30am.  Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered
> that no
> one  had  brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
> volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One
> end 
> of  the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other
> end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the 
> cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
>  survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby
> fishermen.  "All I can say," said Bingham, "is that God was watching out
> for me
> on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot 
> was never located.
> 
>  AND NOW, FOR THE WINNER:
> 
> 1. PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt 
> fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and 
> more than bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged up
> pachyderm
> finally let fly-and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
> Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give 
> the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded
> on him like a dump truck full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's
> unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck
> his
> head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate
> his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police 
> detective  Erik Dern.
> 
> With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at
> least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he
> suffocated.  "It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that
> happen."
> 
> >
> >
> 
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