[Western] Dirk made me do it

[Gavin]

I did not!  -Dirk



  Goatroper> so i had a checkup at the doctor a couple months ago
  <Goatroper> i waited in the goddamn lobby for like 2 hours
  <Goatroper> i was just starting to doze off when they called me back into one of the exam rooms
  <Goatroper> so i sit on this chair for like 30 more mins, and then fall asleep
  <Goatroper> i wake up and have no idea what time it is or how long i've been waiting
  <Goatroper> so 20 minutes later after I finished reading the Hispanic Business Weekly
  <Goatroper> I start diggin through the drawers in the exam table and his desk drawer
  <Goatroper> i find some hypos and don't touch them, some dressing gowns, and then i get to the drawer marked "OB/GYN"
  <Goatroper> i open it up, take a peeky-peek inside, and what do I see? Speculums and rectal dilators.
  <Goatroper> At this point I'm in his desk rolly-chair
  <Goatroper> with about 40 rubber gloves in my pockets for later use
  <Goatroper> so I grab a speculum in each hand
  <Goatroper> and start making them sing and talk like little ducks
  <Goatroper> i was rooting around for a sharpie and couldn't find one
  <Goatroper> so i put them down and did my glove-trick
  <Goatroper> i stretched a rubber glove over my head and blew it up
  <Goatroper> then i grabbbed the speculums and started spinning around in his chair
  <Goatroper> glove inflated on my head the size of two basketballs
  <Goatroper> speculum in each hand
  <Goatroper> spinning in his office chair
  <Goatroper> i hear footsteps and as i'm extending my legs to slow down, the door opens
  <Goatroper> the doctor is standing there with my chart in his hand
  <kr0nus> omg
  <Goatroper> i stopped spinning and just sat there, looking at him through the thin film of the glove
  <Goatroper> he was like "Corey.....?"
  <Goatroper> I said "Yep."
  <Goatroper> held up the speculums.
  <Goatroper> said, "I got bored."
  <Goatroper> and he was like "That's quite a trick with those gloves. Where did you learn that?"
  <Goatroper> I said "Many doctor's offices in many states."
  <Goatroper> He was like "You want to take some with you?" as I got up
  <Goatroper> I pulled the wad out of my pocket and said "Already did."
  <Goatroper> then I walked out and i heard him laughing like a goddamn maniac as soon as the door was closed
  <Goatroper> then the other day i go in again rofl and he just hands me a brand new unopened box of 100 gloves
  <Goatroper> i was gonna ask for some speculums just to fuck with him but I was afraid he'd give me some
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