[Western] Grief

[Quill]

Just thought I'd point out the obvious...

There has been much loss of late. The Western Region has undergone a
"wholesale slaughter" as Amaryah so aptly put it, and alongside we have
experienced a couple of extremely painful individual deaths as well. It's
only natural, indeed healthy, that we should grieve. Dr. Elisabeth
Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a
serious loss. Clearly, this applies not only to the loss of a loved one, in
the case of death, but also to us, all of us now.

1. Denial and Isolation.
2. Anger.
3. Bargaining.
4. Depression.
5. Acceptance.

Sound familiar?
Of course, these do not necessarily happen in a strict order - they usually
tend to follow this pattern, but we can go back and forth a few times, and
get stuck in one area as well. The important thing is to recognize them,
come to terms with each, and move on. Then healing can take place.

1. Multiple warnings are received that numbers are falling, the system is
failing, burnout is imminent, and that ever elusive Something needs to be
done. Somehow this message always seems to be accompanied by the assumed
qualifier "we still have some time". [Denial] Individuality becomes very
important; the Western Region becomes an identity as important as (if not
more so) Kingdom identity, reinforced by the great distance from other
areas. [Isolation]

2. The other shoe drops. Words fly and fists and voices are raised; everyone
looks for a target. Is it the one who brought us the bad news? Is it the guy
sitting under the crown? Is it the BOD? Some other elusive Person In Charge?
Whose castle should we storm, whose heads shall roll? [Anger]

3. Almost immediately petitions are sent in, letters and emails are being
written. Some plead. Some give terms. Some point out the flaws in logic.
[Bargaining] Some are still laced with fury. Fingers point in the other
direction and "injustice" is the scream [Displacement - a subconscious
defense mechanism.]. And when these seem to fall on deaf ears, we go back to
our isolation and anger before trying again.

4. Letters stop being written. People stop looking at the rules, examining
the laws and talking to each other. Attendance tapers off, or  meetings
become more and more "unofficial". Memberships fail to renew. A few
reminisce about "the good old days". More excuses are found for just not
getting out the door, and garb suddenly starts to form stretch marks at the
shoulder from a nasty wire hanger. Nobody really says it, but you can tell
when they're thinking it. "I quite." It doesn't happen all at once, but one
by one, it happens. [Depression]


We aren't quite to Depression yet. A few people are, many of you admit
you've felt it coming on, or have fallen to it momentarily, but luckily
anger is still strong, and keeps people from lingering there. But we're
going to have to go through it. (Let's make it brief!) Eventually, we WILL
make it to Acceptance. This doesn't necessarily mean we'll all just lie down
and take it like good little peons. (I can hear your "hell no" from over
here.) Acceptance means a lot of things, besides just taking a punch and
rolling with it, like taking responsibility for OUR actions - and inaction,
learning and doing what needs to be done HERE and NOW, so that there's
something left for us all in the future, and realizing that while we are
hurt, others are grieving with us. (Did anyone SEE the tears in His
Majesty's eyes. That's not /just/ your buddy Sir Aaron there, that's your
King, and the King stands for the Kingdom, and your kingdom is more than the
sum of its parts.)

What I'm saying with all of this is that it's OKAY, in fact it's a good
thing, to feel sad and angry and all you're experiencing right now. Just
please realize, there's something bigger at stake, and a much larger goal is
ahead. Together we'll move on, as long as we don't stop moving forward.

Your Brother, Your Friend,
Cuillioc

(Oh, and doesn't sack-cloth costs about the same per-yard as linen these
days?)
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