[Western] In war, only the innocent suffer...

[tomjenkins at suddenlink.net]

Omg, I laughed so hard I nearly wrecked!!!
Ld Logan


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-----Original Message-----
From: "Anton Zemlock III" <a.zemlock at suddenlink.net>

Date: Fri, 13 Jun 2008 19:49:13 
To:"'Western Region of Ansteorra - SCA,Inc.'" <western at lists.ansteorra.org>
Subject: Re: [Western] In war, only the innocent suffer...


Lords and Ladies, 
While continuing our investigation of the wreckage of the Drachenhohle Hall, an interesting piece of evidence was uncovered. I humbly submit it as further evidence of either the north’s duplicity or, and it pains me to utter these foul words, Gerald’s direct involvement in this tragedy. In this new light, one can not help but feel violated and surmise that the once steadfast and trustworthy friendship from the north has been betrayed .  
Look upon the damning evidence with your own eyes. 
With honor, loyalty and dignity I remain, 
Jean-Marc Lemainnoir, Lieutenant, Civic Guard 
  
  
 
 
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From: tomjenkins [mailto:tomjenkins at suddenlink.net] 
 Sent: Friday, June 13, 2008 12:44 AM
 To: Western Region of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc.
 Subject: Re: [Western] In war, only the innocent suffer... 
  
 
Dining might be a gentle euphamism in the case of my Centurian ally... Although, I have to admit if you throw some peppers and onions in the mix, you can make a tasty (if not proper) haggis, or at least that's what HE Gavin keeps telling me. 
 
  
 
In fact, now that I think of it... HE Gavin has mentioned donkey as a culinary ingredient on several different occasions in my presence... giving him the perfect motive to lower the hammer on Gerold, who is known in these parts to keep a vast array of diverse donkeys, ranging from your run-of-the-mill asses to Aztec-bred Tijuana show burrows. Perhaps the burning of gerold's hall was merely to cover up the true nature of the crime: multiple donkey-nappings! 
 
  
 
HE Gavin, I pray this is not the case, as I have always held you in high regard... However, if Gerold's donkeys be the object of your northern conquests, then I fear we will never come to a peaceful end in this matter. A man's home is his castle (even if you burn and donkey poo it), but his donkeys... That's something different entirely! 
 
  
 
Ld. Logan, friend to donkeys everywhere. 
 
  
 
(And now, thanks to all the donkey references, I can not get a single line from the film "Clerks 2" out of my head... "I miss my donkey.") 
 
----- Original Message ----- 
 
From: Stefan Fitzmittenese 
 
To: western at lists.ansteorra.org 
 
Sent: Thursday, June 12, 2008 9:44 PM 
 
Subject: [Western] In war, only the innocent suffer... 
 
  
 
I would have to say that Gerold's hall was befouled before it was burned. As quartermaster to the guard, I know we were not there in time to save the members of my family therefore I couldn't have done it. Wait....was not Gerold dining on tenderized donkey? Perhaps this is some ploy by the craven northmen to shift blame to use as a pretense for outright treachery! Alas, I think the truth comes to light! 
 
  
 
Snap, 
 
Stefan Fitzmittenese 
 
  
 
P.S. Besides, everybody knows that it is pillage then burn. Do you see me in a new tunic? 
 
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