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<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=2>Here one that you might <U>really</U>
enjoy! Sorry Larkin but it is Cute and thought the Western Region might
enjoy it.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=2></FONT><FONT size=2>Agnarr</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><B>Subject: </B>Society For Creative Anachronism
Seizes Control Of Russia<BR><BR></DIV></FONT>
<DIV> </DIV>This page sponsored by the <A
href="http://www.uwplatt.edu/~goldschp/slavic.html">Slavic Interest
Group</A><BR>The real <A href="http://www.sca.org">Society for Creative
Anachronism (SCA)</A>
<P>Permission to reprint the following article, which originally appeared on 26
May 1999, was graciously granted by <BR><A href="http://www.theonion.com" border
= 0><IMG alt="The Onion, America's Finest News Source" border=0 height=31
src="onionlink1098.gif" width=88></A>
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<TD><B><FONT face="Arial, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif"
size=2>Above: SCA members guard the recently seized St. Basil's
Cathedral. </FONT></B></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<P> MOSCOW--Official reports from the Kremlin Tuesday
confirmed that the Society for Creative Anachronism, a group of
medieval-wargames hobbyists, seized control of Russia in a bloodless coup over
the weekend. </P>
<P> "Weakened by food shortages, political instability
and widespread economic chaos, our military's combined forces proved no match
for the enemy's rattan-and-duct-tape broadswords and homemade weaponry,"
said deposed Russian president Boris Yeltsin during a national radio address in
which he relinquished rulership to the "Principality Of The Mists,"
one of several dozen SCA "kingdoms." </P>
<P> "I can't tell you how humiliating this is," he
added. </P>
<P> The SCA, founded in 1966 by a group of Berkeley
science-fiction and fantasy fans, is a non-profit organization dedicated to fun
and learning through such medieval activities as metalwork, calligraphy,
lute-playing and brewing. Boasting more than 20,000 dues-paying members in 14
countries, the club is also known for holding elaborately staged mock battles,
followed by feasting and merrymaking amid the revelry of troubadours and
jesters.</P>
<P> The seizure of over 70% of Russia's land mass marks the
first time the SCA has ventured into the arena of international politics. </P>
<P> "I can't believe how easy it was to claim Kiev for
the Kingdom Of Ealdormere," said Royal Peer Gawain Falconsfyre, a
44-year-old tech-support assistant from a suburb of Toronto. "It was a
piece of cake. Haven't any of these Russians ever heard of a moving-shield-wall
offense?" </P>
<P> Falconsfire and an SCA faction armed only with rubber
maces successfully captured two Russian tank divisions outside Moscow Saturday
when fuel shortages immobilized the armored vehicles. </P>
<P> Due to the disarray of communications within Russia,
information regarding the actual invasion is sketchy. It was confirmed, however,
that St. Petersburg was taken without a shot being fired late Saturday morning,
after thousands of Russian soldiers deserted their posts, joining approximately
70 SCA knights advancing on the city in hopes of being issued new boots and
coats. </P>
<P> The SCA also overtook vast areas at the borders of
former Russian republics Ukraine and Belarus simply by trading several sacks of
potatoes for enemy guns. </P><!-- Photo Caption With Right Vertical Spacer -->
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<TD><B><FONT face="Arial, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif"
size=2>Above: Former president Boris Yeltsin transferring control of
Russia to Grand Seneschal Ulf Silverhawk. </FONT></B></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<P> "Forsooth, mine legions of brave warmakers hath
conquered the Lands West O' the Urals! Let there be great rejoicing in our noble
victory!" exclaimed Cedric, Bard of the House of Æthelmearc, 36,
hoisting a flagon of ale. "What, ho! Bring on the serving wenches!"
</P>
<P> Cedric, known as Harold Freed when among non-SCA
members, is credited with capturing two military air bases and a string of
missile installations throughout the north Caucasus region along the Georgian
border--an area rendered vulnerable by ethnic infighting, corruption and
military anarchy. </P>
<P> SCA leaders, who have called the weekend's campaign
"a really good time," were said to be especially pleased with the
invasion's early wrap-up, as it left the remainder of the weekend free for
social recreation in the form of mead-drinking, archery contests, and the
singing of bawdy madrigals. </P>
<P> Even captured Russian soldiers were invited to join in
the fun and campfire dancing. Such "good sportsmanship" has some
analysts arguing that the SCA's power base in Russia may even benefit the
troubled land in the long run. </P>
<P> "Though civilian rioting and widespread starvation
still rock the major population centers, Russia is actually more stable right
now than it has been for the last 18 months," Harvard political science
professor F. Horace Gunderson said. "Candle-dipping seminars are addressing
the problems posed by energy shortages, and the booths selling roasted turkey
legs represent, in many regions, the first source of food in weeks." </P>
<P> "This could be the best thing to happen to Russia
in years," agreed State Department foreign-affairs analyst Howard Plum.
"The sale of jewelry, driftwood art and other medieval handcrafting at
concession tables throughout Russia has boosted local economies, and SCA
presence has even created new jobs in the custodial and campground-rental
fields." </P>
<P> The U.N. security council is drafting a proposal urging
SCA forces to remain in Russia, at least until a more viable interim government
can be structured. </P>
<P> "Under the current political system, the Russian
people face Mafia domination of the black market and a deteriorating national
infrastructure," U.N. Ambassador Thomas R. Pickering said. "With an
elaborately networked consortium of amateur gamers in charge, however, there
will at least be some semblance of order." </P>
<P> Members of SCA nobility, however, say the group has no
interest in running Russia for any great length of time, especially with the
members' need to prepare for their next major event, this summer's Pennsic War
between the East and Middle Kingdoms, to be held in Pennsylvania. Insiders
expect the occupying forces to return power to the Russian government "on
the honor system" and return to their day jobs by the end of the week.
<P> "We're doing this for fun, not the vulgar
acquisition of personal political power," said insurance actuary and
Arizona native Willownook Pendragon, of the Kingdom of Atenveldt. "We're
here to celebrate our mutual interest in the ways and customs of pre-1600 feudal
Europe, and to bedeck ourselves in the heraldic regalia of our fictional
medieval personas, not to get mixed up in politics." </P>
<P> Pendragon added that "anyone who wants to have a
fun time and make new friends" should check out the SCA home page or
contact the group's California headquarters directly at its toll-free number for
more information on an SCA chapter in their area. </P>
<P> "We're really just friendly folks who welcome
outsiders," Pendragon said. "Plus, now is a great time to get
involved, because there's lots of super events coming up this summer, and you'll
want time to prepare the correct blazon for your heraldry."</P>
<P>© Copyright 1999 The Onion <A
href="http://www.theonion.com">(www.theonion.com)</A>
<HR align=left noShade SIZE=2>
<H3>The story of how all this came about</H3>
<P>The Onion's graphics editor emailed Paul at work and asked him if he knew of
anyone near Madison that would be willing to pose for some pics for an article
about Medievalists taking over Russia. He wanted people who "looked
like" they were in the SCA. Paul replied that he could do him one better
and get him the real SCA. The Onion had also gotten in touch with the Barony of
Jaravellir's (Madison, Wisconsin) seneschal and the Baron and received more
info. With one day's notice the Barony members came to the weekly
fighter/archery/dance/social practice in proper dress and posed. The Onion reps
explained what the pic was for and what the Onion was (apparently they encounter
many subjects who don't understand what the photos/interviews will eventually be
used for) and pictures were taken.
<P>The Onion contacted many people in the area. I don't know exactly why they
contacted Paul, but I think that probably The Onion did a web search for
"SCA", "Russia" and "politics" and got Paul's home
page with his professional credits (political science professor with Russian
emphasis) and his SCA persona pic and info. Of course it helps that he also runs
the Slavic Interest Group! Needless to say, the photo went up on his office door
with the caption of "What I Did On My Summer Vacation".
<P>--<A href="mailto:jdmiller2@students.wisc.edu">Yana/Jenn</A>
<P>
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