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<DIV>Good points, glad to know you are not wasting a college
education. Once we accept this loss we turn around and have a rebirth, a
renasance if you will, and like a phoenix the western region will rise
from it's ashes. I know this will not happen overnight, there
will be years of work involved and greater lines of communication between the
other regions within the Kingdom, so they may learn how we think and vice
versa. I don't express myself well in print. But I know that when we
return, we will all be more careful, we will be stronger, and even more
dedicated to keeping this dream alive. Jamie of Trelac----- Original
Message ----- </DIV>
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<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=gray.quill@gmail.com href="mailto:gray.quill@gmail.com">Quill</A>
</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=western@lists.ansteorra.org
href="mailto:western@lists.ansteorra.org">Mailing Lists</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Sunday, January 20, 2008 3:51
AM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [Western] Grief</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>Just thought I'd point out the obvious...<BR><BR>There has been
much loss of late. The Western Region has undergone a "wholesale slaughter" as
Amaryah so aptly put it, and alongside we have experienced a couple of
extremely painful individual deaths as well. It's only natural, indeed
healthy, that we should grieve. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five
stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Clearly, this
applies not only to the loss of a loved one, in the case of death, but also to
us, all of us now.<BR><BR>1. Denial and Isolation. <BR>2. Anger.<BR>3.
Bargaining.<BR>4. Depression.<BR>5. Acceptance.<BR><BR>Sound familiar?<BR>Of
course, these do not necessarily happen in a strict order - they usually tend
to follow this pattern, but we can go back and forth a few times, and get
stuck in one area as well. The important thing is to recognize them, come to
terms with each, and move on. Then healing can take place. <BR><BR>1. Multiple
warnings are received that numbers are falling, the system is failing, burnout
is imminent, and that ever elusive Something needs to be done. Somehow this
message always seems to be accompanied by the assumed qualifier "we still have
some time". [Denial] Individuality becomes very important; the Western Region
becomes an identity as important as (if not more so) Kingdom identity,
reinforced by the great distance from other areas. [Isolation] <BR><BR>2. The
other shoe drops. Words fly and fists and voices are raised; everyone looks
for a target. Is it the one who brought us the bad news? Is it the guy sitting
under the crown? Is it the BOD? Some other elusive Person In Charge? Whose
castle should we storm, whose heads shall roll? [Anger] <BR><BR>3. Almost
immediately petitions are sent in, letters and emails are being written. Some
plead. Some give terms. Some point out the flaws in logic. [Bargaining] Some
are still laced with fury. Fingers point in the other direction and
"injustice" is the scream [Displacement - a subconscious defense mechanism.].
And when these seem to fall on deaf ears, we go back to our isolation and
anger before trying again. <BR><BR>4. Letters stop being written. People stop
looking at the rules, examining the laws and talking to each other. Attendance
tapers off, or meetings become more and more "unofficial". Memberships
fail to renew. A few reminisce about "the good old days". More excuses are
found for just not getting out the door, and garb suddenly starts to form
stretch marks at the shoulder from a nasty wire hanger. Nobody really says it,
but you can tell when they're thinking it. "I quite." It doesn't happen all at
once, but one by one, it happens. [Depression] <BR><BR><BR>We aren't quite to
Depression yet. A few people are, many of you admit you've felt it coming on,
or have fallen to it momentarily, but luckily anger is still strong, and keeps
people from lingering there. But we're going to have to go through it. (Let's
make it brief!) Eventually, we WILL make it to Acceptance. This doesn't
necessarily mean we'll all just lie down and take it like good little peons.
(I can hear your "hell no" from over here.) Acceptance means a lot of things,
besides just taking a punch and rolling with it, like taking responsibility
for OUR actions - and inaction, learning and doing what needs to be done HERE
and NOW, so that there's something left for us all in the future, and
realizing that while we are hurt, others are grieving with us. (Did anyone SEE
the tears in His Majesty's eyes. That's not /just/ your buddy Sir Aaron there,
that's your King, and the King stands for the Kingdom, and your kingdom is
more than the sum of its parts.) <BR><BR>What I'm saying with all of this is
that it's OKAY, in fact it's a good thing, to feel sad and angry and all
you're experiencing right now. Just please realize, there's something bigger
at stake, and a much larger goal is ahead. Together we'll move on, as long as
we don't stop moving forward. <BR><BR>Your Brother, Your
Friend,<BR>Cuillioc<BR><BR>(Oh, and doesn't sack-cloth costs about the same
per-yard as linen these days?)<BR>
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